Laid Bare!

    Centipedes and scorpions


    Posts : 6762
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Centipedes and scorpions

    Post  Psioncy on Sat May 18, 2013 5:59 am

    I won't go in to excessive detail, but I've lived all over this city...

    The Hutong experience was my first five years. Then I moved to Chaoyang, greatly relieved that the only two pests were roaches and mosquitoes.

    But this last year I've gone back and had two more hutong apartments, and have had literally NO ROACHES AND NO MOSQUITOES.

    Which of course on the surface sounds great BUT... and this is a big but. Bigger than an African NEGRESS Exclamation

    I've had the following pests, in order of severetey of scaring the F out of me.

    1. Centipedes Jesus, I just killed one the other night and then his wife came out. When I see them first they face off with me. The times I didn't see them first they fkn BIT ME. And that poison, while not lethal, hurts like shit.

    2. Scorpions. I have only encountered these three times. One I captured for study. They are definitely m'fkrs, and they will definitely sting the fuck out of you. But compared to the centipedes I'm not scared.

    3. Spiders. I grew up with spiders. BIG ONES. So beijing is nothing to me in terms of arachnaphobia. In fact I even beleived that old wives legend about not killing them cuz it would rain and bring back luck, so I generally captured them and set them free. Unless they were brown. If you don't understand the brown aspect of spiders, just image search "brown recluse bite" and you will see why I'mk so racist against brown spiders.

    4. Weasels. For years in beijing I'd noticed nights when a waving swirl of fur would rush across my path. I thought nothing of this, having raised ferrets myself and being exposed to weasely vermin prior. However, once i caught a glimpse of how big the gdm hutong weasals really were, I shit my pants. Fatter than a cat this SOB.

    5. Lizards. Wait for it to warm up. My hutong apartment last year was plagued with lizards, and land beetles, and all manner of slimey shit Exclamation I'm not that scared really cuz i know better, but still, reptiles creep me out more than insects for some primordial reason.

    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

      Current date/time is Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:23 pm