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    Psioncy

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    Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:13 am

    I know we already got a ton of threads for movie reviews, but I can't be bothered to fucking find them.

    Besides, i'm like one of those rare people that doesn't start threads all the fucking time, like a certain TURD I won't mention, who goes by the name of Pi.

    Check my TBJ stats or even my SK stats if you don't believe me, m'fkrs.

    The first movie I want to recommend is "Lone Survivor".

    Let me first state, I don't believe this shit for a second.  There's no fucking way that four soldiers took out so many of the enemy on their terrain.  (Movie claims to be a true story).  It's more war propaganda IMHO, but it's still quite important.  We've been at war in Afghanistan for what?  12 years now?  It's good to finally see something in film resembling what it actually looks like.  The movie is very well directed, like impeccably so.  I highly recommend it.

    Next up is "The Grand Budapest", a Hollywood attempt to capture the "essence" of eastern Europe in a surreal fashion.  They accomplish this.  But I don't know, it feels...  overdone.  Too many Hollywood jewturds making grand appearances.  Bill Murray was in it, and I think it would have been great if he'd been the star and they'd cut down on the cast a LOT.  Still, definitely worth a viewing.

    "No Clue" is a Canuckistanian comedy starring some relatively obscure comedian who is SURPRISINGLY FUNNY.  Give it a watch, why not?

    "Monuments Men" starring George Clooney.  Another period piece in the vein of Grand Budapest, but with fucking worthless shitbag George Clooney.  Don't watch this, it causes vagrot in the brain.  Ranking:  20000 turds worth of shit.

    "Rob the Mob" is another "true story" that I highly fucking doubt, but still it's pretty well made.  Any guy who has the audacity to rob Italian crime families even once like that deserves to have a movie about him.  Really, you won't believe the balls on this guy.  Well worth the viewing!


    _________________
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    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Sun Jun 08, 2014 11:07 pm

    "Reservoir Dogs" -No shit I'd never seen this one, missed it somehow.

    I was not impressed. I mean it was well done, but overall I'm just not as blown away by Quentin Tarantino's shit, which is all pretty the same. A tendency toward long drawn out dialogues, funky music, extreme and gratiutious levels of graphic violence.

    They shock and entertain to some degree, sure. But compelling stories they are not.




    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Jun 11, 2014 1:54 am

    I yahoo searched "surreal movies" and then started downloading whatever was on the lists that popped up.

    1. Delicatessen: Definitely worth a watch! Some truly whack French madness in this flick.
    2. Idiots: Um, I don't even know what to say about this one. Pretty fucking fucked up, so I guess that means worth a viewing.
    3. Brazil: I'd seen this one before. Very monty-pythonesque (with many python members in the caste) but less humorous.
    4. Naked Lunch: I'm watching this now. Pretty good for it's era but way too much faggotry.
    5. Blade Runner: What can I say, it just doesn't get any better. That's one dystopian world I could reside in forever. Why didn't they ever make a sequel?

    Still up:

    The Milky Way
    Pi
    The Fifth Element (this one I remember, pretty good)
    City of Lost Children (have I Seen it before?)
    And a bunch of others....


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Sun Jun 15, 2014 6:06 pm

    I'm no fucking retard, I can follow a plot. But I really need to someone to explain "Enemy" to me.

    That movie makes no fucking sense at all.

    And none of the questions it brings up get resolved. It just makes no goddamn fucking sense!

    "A Million Ways to Die in the West" was pretty funny I thought. Seth McFarland uses modern speech in old west setting as a comedy device, and pulls it off nicely.

    "Edge of Tomorrow" is a worth a viewing. The time skipping element is pretty trippy.

    "Dumb and Dumber To" is coming out soon. I'm looking forward this one, cuz the original was one of the greatest comedies ever made.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Jun 20, 2014 4:59 am

    I haven't watched any movies. My internet crapped out again. Fucking pisses me off, I pay 150 yuan a month for that.

    I bought another one of those 3/4G whatever cards, but you know it's not enough bandwidth to download video.

    Fucking 600 kuai, that's the last thing I want to spend money on when I'm unemployed, and already paying fucking internet.

    Whatever, I'm still happy to have it. At least I can still get online when the ADSL craps out now.

    I used 3G for about 9 months in the hutongs before, including occasional videos. I learned to seek out the 480p versions on kickass torrents. As well as adding those fkn 100 kuai China UniCrapp cards to phone every week. Christ I spent a fortune. But that was all for videos. For surfing webpages and even image searches and chatting and mapping 3 gigs a month is adequate.

    Anyway I got my internet back today. The Unicom guy actually figured out the problem. This time THIS TIME it wasn't the fucking connection, or the modem, it was the power cord to the modem. Which is fucked because the modem and the cord aren't even a year old. And when the internet went out five days ago, the modem was powered on, lights a flashing. Then shit to a brick yesterday, dead and powerless.

    He came, he checked, he left. Later I got a message that it was the power cord. Why he couldn't have replaced the fucking power cord he was here I have no idea. THen I was hearing about 1-2 days to have the new power cord come. And of course I need to be HERE at all waking hours waiting for that. SO I said fuck it and went to the market and bought my own power cord. The vendor wouldn't go below 45 yuan. I even walked off and she didn't relent. Jesus, so expensive.

    Well, at least I got double internet now. That's like carrying TWO SIX SHOOTERS in the old west, and I'm ambidextrous.

    I'm not, my left hand is retarded. But you get the gist. Whoever you are, you fucking guests.

    It's just me, so suck up all the banal shit give you and say "thank you" for it!

    It you had any balls at all you'd post and we'd have a community, of people threatening and insulting each other. The e-topia I tried to architect, but no. You have suck balls as voyeur jerk=offs. My balls. Even Poo, it appears, has joined your ranks.

    Fuck you, fuck all ya'll!~



    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:46 am

    I'm rewatching the movie version of MASH right now.

    I barely remember the movie, I saw when I was a kid. The only part that sticks out in my mind is that scene when they lifted the shower tent up and Major Hoolihan was exposed naked. I'll probably whack off to that later even...

    I was in a MASH unit myself, ironically. It wasn't as comical though as the TV show. And it was just training and reserve.

    Combat Medic, 91A. What a bunch of shit. Well I guess that training has been useful. I don't know if I could surivive as I have done here otherwise.

    And actually a lot of it was pretty serious business. We had live fire exercises with real rounds to be avoided, and over our heads if we in case we decided to poke 'em up. ANd of course real claymors, RPGs, M60s and so forth. All in all, I have to say, I was trained by the best military in the world.

    I still remember the field exercises for triage, putting the nerve gas victims who were alive and concioius and talking in the morgue.

    ANd laughing as we were expected to when the drill sargent told us that we were supposed to treat the injured enemy combatants to equal priority, according Geneva or whatevs.  Rolling Eyes 

    Hell, you know what, soldiering is the best education for a young man. ANd you know me, I'm as anti-war as they come, and still am. Just saying the benefits to the training is all.

    Anyway, just started the movie. The first thing that catches me, cuz I watched the TV series as a kid growing up in Maine on SCTV daily, is that the Theme Song has LYRICS! Well I already knew that I guess, but hearing more than the chorus is pretty deep.

    Suicide is painless, it brings on many changes...

    but there's also...

    The sword of time will pierce our skins, doesn't hurt when it begins, but as it works it way on in, the pain grows stronger, watch it grin!

    and more...\

    Seriously, why the fuck were were ever there in the first place. Or Vietnam for that matter?

    Did we make a difference?

    Maybe we did...

    I kinda believe we did. In the overall balance of things I mean flower 


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:06 am

    Actually, now that I'm rewatchtin it, I think the movie is better than the TV show.

    The moral conflict starts immediately, and is much more nuanced and realistic.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:08 am

    Shit, I almost can't imagine that time period.

    Think about it.

    Every elderly I've talked to has told me it was America's Golden Age.

    And i'm not contradicting that, but in a far-eastern war zone... also gotta be it's most debauched.



    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:11 am

    Hell, when I entered the Army things were pretty debauched, but not compared to ages past.

    The second school I went to in San Antonio, the drill sergeants told us. Back in the day, the girls would just get off the bus and the drill sergeants would divvy them up.

    Not like that in my time. I mean there was hanky=panky and a lot of it for sure, but not like that. It was more consensual style.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Sun Jun 22, 2014 2:52 am

    DO NOT WATCH MONUMENTS MEN. What a shitfest, I swear. It's too bad cuz Bill Murray is it, and he's about the only actor I like there.

    DO WATCH 50s Sci-Fi classic "Forbidden Planet". You can forgive the futuristic versions of everything being made of clear plastic. The special effects are pretty impressive for the era actually.



    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Sun Jun 22, 2014 3:02 am

    Trending Now  "Pan's Labyrinth".  Really quite good.  Get the subtitlied version though, unless you hui shuo espanol.

    It really does a nice job blurring the lines between fantasy and reality, a little girl's faerie dreams vs. the almost equally surreal brutal backdrop of war. Right through the ending, you honestly can't decide which is truth.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Movie Reviews

    Post  Psioncy on Sun Jun 22, 2014 3:47 am

    Now I'm watching THX.1138.1971

    Well 1971 was the year, an early George Lucas directed film prior to the orginal Star Wars.

    I love how they saw the future way back when. In the early 70s apparently it was still oversized fuzzy sounding radio devices and chrome screens.

    Frankly speaking, Forbidden Planet did a better job in 1956. That's not to downplay THX though, it's still pretty good.

    I just can't get over how everything on film looked so clear and perfect in the 50s and so grainy and shitty in the 70s and 80s.

    Even the 90s to some extant.

    WTF is up with *that*?

    Why are the 50s and 60s clearer than the 70s 80s and 90s?

    Now it's all digital CGI whatever. I liked it better when they used sets. Now it's just Tom Cruise jerking off in a front of a greenscreen and everything else is just edited in post.

    I liked how they used to use real models and sets, there's a clarity and believability too it that modern CGI fails to capture.

    Dont' get me wrong, I think CGI works great in films like The Matrix, which take place in a cyber-reality.

    But for anything that's supposed to be *real*, go back to the old ways. I can't suspend my disbelief to your cartoonish pixel bullshit.

    I'd *rather* it looked like a stage performance. Stage performance has a certain dramatic flair that your removed from all that's really happening now lacks.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

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