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    Fucking fuck you alcohol!

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    Psioncy

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    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:24 pm

    One relapse a couple days ago, but it wasn't so bad. I only drank 4 beers, 4 cups of baijiu, and two bottles of jinjiu. Not even half my usual amount.

    If I could only regulate myself to doing that once a week I could keep my alcohol habit.

    But once I start there's really no telling, better to stick to attempted abstinence.

    I've only drank twice in the past month and the last one was relatively moderate, so that's a massive improvement over the binge drinking of every 2-3 days I was at for so long.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Aug 08, 2014 12:17 pm

    i relapsed into smoking.

    smoked almost a whole pack yesterday.

    reached for a cigarette this morning even before coffee.

    i'm officially addicted again.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Aug 08, 2014 7:06 pm

    I don't think anyone ever quits smoking. Quitting just means living in permanent nicotine withdrawal.

    So good with coffee. And alcohol. Caffeine and alcohol both open up the lungs.

    I drank again last night. I can't even call it a relapse now, just regular drinking. Went out too. As usual I have no idea what I got up to.

    I lost my bike, and had pretty much accepted the loss, until a while ago I was walking by this restaurant and stumbled onto it. It was parked there unlocked all night and day. Really got lucky.

    I've lost some nice bikes. Some were stolen, but some I just have no idea what happened to cuz I just left them somewhere in a blackout like yesterday.





    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5167
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sun Aug 10, 2014 12:52 pm

    you don't need to stop drinking completely.

    just don't let it affect your life and have control over you.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:26 am

    Yeah well I need to look at the stats.  In the past eight years of drinking, the number of times I've "moderated" it can probably be counted on one hand.

    Yet I'll go back those times to justify taking one.

    Robin Williams died of alcoholism today.  Don't let the cause of death being listed as suicide fool you.  That suicide was a symptom of his alcoholism.

    Well... um.... to the extent suicide can be ever considered a "symptom" of anything lol! 

    In an interview before he died he said something about the deadly spiral, and the addiction always laying in wait to tell him "just have one or two".  Or something to that effect.

    I can relate.  Hell, I'm drinking now.

    Ironically, I probably won't overdo it tonight cuz I worked my tail off from dawn to dusk, and then some.  Plus sleeping pills... I doubt I'll get much down.

    At least I made some fucking money today finally, over a 1000.  A grande of chink money, but still.... jesus I fkn need it.

    About Robin Williams... I never thought he was that funny personally.  But I can relate a lot to what killed him and what he had to say about it.

    I think about why anybody would kill themselves with all that money, it seems counter-intuitive.  But I know alcohol... alcohol don't give a fuck about your money, rich or poor, it'll still kill you just as dead either way.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5167
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Aug 13, 2014 11:39 am

    holy shit!
    robin wiliams died?

    thanks. i didn't see it in the headlines.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  Psioncy on Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:03 am

    How could you miss it, it's everywhere online.  Unless you live in an internet cave?  Shocked 

    The Beijinger ran some article about depression among expats, then listed a bunch of overpriced shyster psycholodouche services.

    After reading his comments I'm convinced this guy was stricken with same kind of alcohol addiction I am. Just the way he talked about it, sounded like exactly what I deal with. "Laying in wait"

    Alcohol is a such a diabolical m'fkr!

    I'm not suicidal these days though. I've sorta just faced up to life sucking. People with money actually can't do that so well.

    The only way to defeat depression is lower your standards for what constitutes "happiness". Just accept that life is unfulfilling and pointless as shit and take that as a starting point.

    And thank God for the internet, because as long I have unlimited access to knowledge for my brain to chew on, and fiction and fantasy to indulge, good 'nuff. I'm not into all this "not thinking" crap, because I practice reverse-Buddhism. It's *all* about thinking to me.

    I mean what happens to the "mind" after death? There's no brain to keep the neural network up, thus there can be no mind. A soul maybe, but I'm convinced the soul doesn't "think" on its own. It just directs the brain, it's just *will*.

    So based on those beliefs, being dead just sounds really boring and pointless. There may be pain in life, but it's better than just floating around as some kind of ethereal retard.



    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5167
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Aug 14, 2014 6:01 pm

    air signs are predominantly thought-orientated.

    to say life is pointless and shit is pretty sad. but i'm too tired now. i'll write up a blurb about that later.


    The Great Splendini

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    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Aug 14, 2014 6:07 pm

    i had a gf who inherited a fortune from her father.

    but she was still miserable.

    i think she didn't feel she had accomplished enough because she never made her own fortune like her father did.

    people go into all kinds of contortions to make themselves miserable when they really don't need to.

    if you inherit a fortune, maybe you can just be fucking GRATEFUL to the GODS that you don't have to slave away like so many people for shit wages your whole life.

    robin williams, if he did kill himself because of depression, is an idiot.

    a few conversations with me and i would have smacked some sense into him.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  Psioncy on Thu Aug 14, 2014 8:51 pm

    Yeah, at this point man, if I got a fuckton of money in my possession for whatever reason, I would fart downwind on anyone who discussed me "not earning it". I could give a fuck.

    Every rich asshole has some heroic backstory about how he's "earned" what's his, just so he can take guilt-free pisses on the working poor.

    It's all fkn asshole FATE.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

    Posts : 6483
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Fucking fuck you alcohol!

    Post  Psioncy on Thu Aug 14, 2014 8:53 pm

    And yeah, I think Robin Williams is kinda of a jerk. He killed himself after his wife went to sleep and left his body to be found there.

    That's fucking shit.

    He could have had the decency to say some kind of coded "farewell", then offed himself out in the wilderness somewhere.

    Just cuz you're dead doesn't mean you have no obligation to the living, cuz it affects them too.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

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