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    The Great Splendini

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    This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Tue Nov 18, 2014 7:25 am

    I'm too stupid to hold a job.

    Oh, I know!

    Maybe I'll kill Stephen King and rape everybody's sister!

    That satanic music I've been listening to all these years has finally paid off!


    eggraid

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  eggraid on Tue Nov 18, 2014 8:41 pm

    You and science are basically the same thing.
    You're both in China and hate it there.
    None of you take responsibility, except sciency though who's taken some measures for getting out.
    You're not an alcoholic though. Atleast you've got that.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  Psioncy on Tue Nov 18, 2014 11:43 pm

    I'm not in China anymore.  I'm stuck in Seattle.

    I got fucking detained by agents coming in, cuz I told the customs officer that his bullshit questions were unconstitutional.

    So they fucking detained me and made me answer a gazillion more questions.  Assholes.  

    America is even worse of a fucked up orwellian PC nightmare than I had imagined.

    At least I got my hotel paid for.  This place is sweet!  Too bad I'm outta here in a few, cuz I wouldn't mind staying here for like a week.

    The food is kickass.

    They've got this fast food place here, Jack in the Box, you can get like two tacos for a dollar.  And all the free hot sauce you want.  I put like 4 on each taco.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Nov 19, 2014 2:18 pm

    and eggraid is who exactly?

    getting out is not necessarily a solution unless you have something good to go back to.

    it could be much worse back home without a good job.




    The Great Splendini

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Nov 19, 2014 2:27 pm

    stop bragging about the fucking tacos.

    everybody knows you can find good tacos in the US.

    let us know if you find a decent job.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Nov 19, 2014 5:00 pm

    I played my detention well.  I missed my flight cuz of their bullshit and couldn't get out for another day, so I demanded a hotel.

    And I fucking GOT IT!  

    Remember how I used to dis Taco Bell?  Well I take it all back.  I ordered some $5 box set, and it was fucking incredible.  Some cheesy chicken burrito thing, another beefy veggie burrito, and some other Gordita or something.  That came with a large drink too.  It was delicious and enough food for a day.

    Then I spent about 12 hours lounging around my luxury hotel room, sleeping and watching dumbs cable shows.  The amazing thing is that I could understand everything everyone was saying on the TV.

    I continued my fine dining adventure at Jack in the Box, with a massive breakfast burrito.  Then this mexican dude came in and just ordered two tacos, and only paid $1.  So I went in for seconds with the same deal.  Then back to the hotel for more doing fuck all.

    See, in Maine I'm not near any of that stuff.  Not near anything.  I can walk 5 miles to a country store and that's it.  To get to all that awesome fast food stuff I'd need to Lewis and Clark all the fucking way to Portland or Bangor, with a hot squaw sidekick, like Suckajewia or Pokeacuntness. Cuz you see the one thing I don't have is a car or a drivers license. And in fact that are two things. jocolor

    I had a brief stopover in Detroit today, and did Wendy's.  That was pretty awesome too, the double cheeseburger.  When I first saw it and felt it in my hands I didn't think it would be much, but once it went in my mouth, it was game-on delicious.

    Yeah I got a job already.  Some crazy slush storm brought down all these trees on my mom's property.  I gotta go cut them up.  That's a job, right?  Who needs money when I got a big house w/ sea and forest, and free anything I want for groceries?  I'm just out looking at the stars.  Not many out, but still the most I've seen in a decade.

    Oh yeah, btw, that reminds me of what I'm eating right now.  Herb triscuits with havarti cheese, greek yogurt, and cut up mini-veggies.  Sure, it's not a taco, but it'll do in a pinch.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Nov 19, 2014 5:22 pm

    My home town is freakishly unchanged, like it was put under glass or something.  Everything is *exactly* the same as I remember.  A couple of businesses changed hands and thus their signs, but otherwise an eery carbon copy of itself 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 30+++

    The trees've got taller, that's about the only difference I can spot.

    I'm gonna go raid the drug cabinet now Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep

    No liquor cabinet. Mad But heck, a drug cabinet is even better. cyclops


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

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    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Nov 19, 2014 6:04 pm

    they have cheese and fast food in china.

    and nobody cares what you're eating.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Nov 19, 2014 8:03 pm

    more stupidity from the King of Stupid.

    bragging because he ate a taco.

    i feel lower than you because you ate a taco today.

    did you get a nobel prize after you ate the taco?

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    Psioncy

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  Psioncy on Thu Nov 20, 2014 1:23 pm

    The Great Splendini wrote:

    did you get a nobel prize after you ate the taco?


    Yes, oddly enough I *did*. Rolling Eyes

    Don't compare that shit fast food in China.  The fast food in the US has come a long way.

    I'm cooking now, and it's high quality gourmet stuff from the supermarket.  One bag of this stuff would cost like $500 in China.

    If you've been in China too long, you don't get it anymore.  The difference in food quality is staggering.

    I can taste the *essence* of foods once again.

    I think it's funny you want to harp on what I'm eating, and not word one about how I got fucking DETAINED!

    Those fuckers wanted to know everything.  I started out putting my bag up for them to check, but they he told me to take it down.  Then came a reminder I was not in regular customs area.  So I asked him what was so special.  Then he said "nothing, we just want to search your bags" and then talked about how I'd been out of the US for such a long time.  And then I asked him if that's why I'd been sent to the detention area, and he replied "No, this is just a normal customs inspection."  And I said "But you just told me I was in this special area for a reason."  Then he put on some rubber gloves, and the other agent made a joke like "That's never a good sign when the rubber gloves come out."  Like they're gonna do a cavity search on me or something.  So I said "Ok, well if it's a customs inspection I'll be happy to open up my bags and show you everything I brought."  Then he said, "No, we just want to talk."  I mean like constantly contradicting themselves!   Then he questioned the hell out of me, I meet like minute personal details of my life in China, and why I was there so long.  Then he took off and they sent yet another guy to question me, with all the same stupid trivial none-of-their-beeswax queries. It was all fucking bullshit, man.  Completely unconstitutional.  It had nothing to do with searching my bags, though they did that too and questions me on almost everything in there.  They said they suspected me of bringing cigarettes to sell, and like every angle they could think of.  Finally they let me go, but I had missed my flight, and I couldn't book another one for a whole day.  So I demanded a hotel room, and they laughed.  But I got really insistent saying they'd violated my rights and caused me to miss the flight for no valid reason, and finally, to my surprise, I got a free 5 star hotel room!

    That totally rocked, and I'm happy now it went down like that.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

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    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Nov 20, 2014 3:37 pm

    it's just a bunch of uneducated guys getting their rocks off with all the power they've been handed.

    it's like fucking bouncers in clubs. these guys have the right to kick anyone's ass for no apparent reason.

    i might get kicked out of china, because i'm about to send a letter to my president that they've violated my human rights here.

    or sent to jail.

    i'll send you a postcard.

    come on, you're exaggerating the cost of western food here. i just had cheese imported from UK. 30 kuai for 200g. how much does that translate to in USD? and please check the cost of a 200g piece of cheese there for comparison. i doubt it's much cheaper.

    and. as always.

    fuck you very much.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:45 pm

    bacon. 50 RMB for 1kg. how much there?

    sometimes it's ok, but this last batch i bought is crap.

    bacon never disappoints back home. it's always perfectly crisp.

    here, sometimes it really fucking sucks.


    eggraid

    Posts : 531
    Join date : 2014-07-17

    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  eggraid on Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:45 pm

    You don't get it, great splendini. Sciency is basically a tourist in his home country now. It wears of after about 2 weeks and then the real stuff kicks in.

    I wrote back to friends in China about the various species of birds during the first weeks.

    Took about 2 years to get fully back on track. Tougher than your butt-hole.
    New friends, girlfriend, home ownership and a steady job. 2 years.

    Quit teaching too.

    I now have a low-entry job at Volvo.



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    Psioncy

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Nov 21, 2014 4:27 pm

    Two weeks? Oh no my friend, I intend to evade reality for *much* longer than that.

    I used to think my momz house was bullcrap, but now it's a paradise. It's earthly silent, surrounded by forest and some of the most beautiful coastline in the world. I can use all the hot water I want, washing machine w/ DRYER! *FREE DRUGS* Anything i want for groceries, internet, net flicks, the works. All for free!!! I don't know why I didn't think of this years ago.

    I don't *need* a life or a GF, I scored enough poon in China to last me a lifetime. So yeah I'm just gonna chill on easy street indefinitely.

    The birds have mostly gone south, but today I saw a woodpecker and some ravens. Those fuckers are smart, the ravens that is.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

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    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Nov 21, 2014 8:45 pm

    xciency is going to regress back into childhood and start breastfeeding,

    never mind the tacos
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    Psioncy

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:56 pm

    That's a thought scratch If you're gonna give up and move in with moms you might as well go whole hog.

    This house is really big, just the empty area in the basement is larger than my apartment in Beijing. I just have to tile and grout the floor. I could make a little apartment down there! To bring chicks back to. I used to bring chicks down there in high school, so why not now?

    Speaking of chicks, there are two huge turkeys pecking around out back. My presence doesn't fluster them in the least. Man, I wish I had a rifle. I'm planning on buying one of those new high powered pellet rifles, but I ain't got it yet.

    These suckers are huge too.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5166
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Nov 22, 2014 8:39 am

    sorry, but moving back with mom is a major step backward in a human being's evolution.

    you need to put your thinking cap on and figure out how to get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

    not figure out how to settle in permanently.

    i've had to move back home a couple of times in my life.

    and it's a form of defeat. it means you've been knocked down and you need to figure out how to get back up.

    and it's not that bad if you actually have a decent relationship with your folks.

    but i have issues up the fucking yin-yang with my folks so when i've had to move back it's the gods torturing me with family demons.

    it's hell on earth for me.






    The Great Splendini

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Nov 22, 2014 8:53 am

    for me, moving back home is one step away from living on a park bench / suicide / hell.

    i'd rather keep low-paying shitty jobs to pay my rent.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Nov 22, 2014 9:08 am

    eggraid,

    i know it's not easy to move back.

    thanks for sharing your story.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  Psioncy on Sat Nov 22, 2014 7:33 pm

    The Great Splendini wrote:for me, moving back home is one step away from living on a park bench / suicide / hell.

    i'd rather keep low-paying shitty jobs to pay my rent.


    That's how I used to think too.  

    But, I was barely scoring any poon or making any money. And I couldn't make it three days without binge drinking myself into oblivion.

    My glory days in China were long over.  My life was totally pointless, I was just holding on for the sake of it.  Like I was a contestant on Survivor.  Except in this version of Survivor, the prize for winning is a long slow death.

    I've already set a new sobriety record.  5 days and more to come, cuz I physically have no means to get at it.  What's more, I haven't the urge.

    And my mom's place is huge, so we can totally avoid each over if we want.  Yeah, of course I'm gonna figure out my own thing eventually.  But for now, my only goal is to get 3 months sobriety under my belt.  It's too fucking cold to do anything besides hibernate anyway.

    I moved out of here when I was 16, and have been paying fucking bills ever since.  I deserve this hiatus.  And my momz is happy to have the company cuz she lived out in these woods alone for decades and decades.  Besides I'm doing a ton of work on the property for her, so it's not really like I'm mooching.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5166
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Nov 22, 2014 9:15 pm

    i'm about to go to war with some very powerful people here for fucking me over.

    but maybe i'll chicken out because these people can cause me a lot of problems.



    things got pretty nasty between us, so i'm moving on. i can't trust you and i don't want to be in contact with people i can't trust.

    to quote my ex when she dumped me, good luck.


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    Psioncy

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    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  Psioncy on Sun Nov 23, 2014 3:55 am

    Oh come on Pi, this is Satans Kingdom... we go to the extreme in nastiness with everything, that's whole point.

    That's *why* you can trust me.  I'm a huge supporter of war, and that includes yours.

    I had the idea of sticking it to a couple employers once I got back, but now that I am I feel like I can't even be bothered to compose the emails.

    They're always gonna be sneaky chinky lying assholes.  And no matter how much I got exploited, at least I don't have to live in their fucking sneaky chinky asshole world, that never stops.  At least I don't have to live in their filthy mindset.

    Which they've got, til they fkn die and hopefully beyond.  Breathing in filthy air, eating poisoned food, and stabbing each other in the back for fun and profit.  Like a writhing hive of stinking maggots.  Think about it, one thing far worse than getting tricked by a chink is having to *be* one.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5166
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:47 am

    dude, i'm still living in this stinking pile of filth.

    my boss was on her ebike a couple of days ago and looked at me like she's plotting to hire hitmen to have me whacked.

    because her bosses are shitting on her because of something i did.

    chinese companies like to make everyone feel like shit, like your work is never good enough. no matter what you do, they always conclude that you suck.

    because they suck.

    so if they try to convince you that you suck, they'll feel better about themselves.

    sciency, YOU suck. there. now i feel better-than because i just made you feel less-than.

    catch my drift? it's all fucking mathematical mind-fuck games is what it's all about.

    fuck you.


    The Great Splendini

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    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:56 am

    we're gonna catch you with your pants down.

    wait till you slip up.

    and you will.

    and then write a fucking report about you.

    and conclude that you suck ass, motherfucker.


    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5166
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: This is Sciency

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sun Nov 23, 2014 11:34 am

    moving back with family brings up deep-seated wounds from childhood that have been supressed for years and years.

    usually.

    unless the family was happy go lucky.

    but most families aren't.

    so good luck with that. it's only a matter of time that childhood issues start creeping up.


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