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    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Tue Aug 11, 2015 10:17 pm

    And by the way, there's nothing "immature" about being in China long-term.

    I was teaching. It's a job, like any other. Some jobs are better, some are worse.

    I nearly got married. So that changes everything. But then things didn't work out.

    I avoided going back home because I would have to go back for some type of training or I honestly don't know what I could be doing.

    And I'm still avoiding it for the same reasons.

    But the longer I stay here, the more miserable I become. The quality of life here is terrible and I have felt increasing hostility over the past several years . So now it's becoming more urgent for me to get out. Most laowai don't seem to complain about hostility, but some do. I'm not the only one. I don't know what it is. Something about me that elicits jealousy I guess. But I'm sick of this. Not to mention it could become dangerous at some point.

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Tue Aug 11, 2015 10:46 pm

    Oh, and I just got DUMPED.

    HA HA.

    I tried to re-kindle something with an old flame, but I guess she figured I wasn't a good catch.

    And she's right.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Tue Aug 11, 2015 11:43 pm

    Psioncy wrote:The mod policy here is based entirely around posting people's personal information -not making grandiose drunken threats into the aether.

    yeah well, you need to modify the mod policy then to include no drunken threats.

    and the other issue is that when someone is acting crazy online, it's hard to gauge how much of it is play-acting or real.

    personally, i think i've had enough of the internet and will try to go back to real life.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Aug 12, 2015 1:12 am

    The Great Splendini wrote:

    But the longer I stay here, the more miserable I become. The quality of life here is terrible and I have felt increasing hostility over the past several years . So now it's becoming more urgent for me to get out. Most laowai don't seem to complain about hostility, but some do. I'm not the only one. I don't know what it is. Something about me that elicits jealousy I guess. But I'm sick of this. Not to mention it could become dangerous at some point.

    Most expats are in a bubble and surrounded by a network.  Chinese men are extremely envious of white men, and are much more likely to exhibit their frustration at a solitary white male, because they view his independence as a vulnerability.

    Which it is... and isn't...  

    (You may also just be more empathic and picking up on it more than other westerners.)

    I was very solitary and completely non-reliant on a social network of any kind.  I started out married.  When little miss green card flew the coup in 2006 I decided "fuck it" I don't need her... and I didn't!  And I never did "friends" either, because that's just as transient as everything else in Beijing.  I like it that way, because then I'm not having my time and energy stolen away by my tribe.  Of course that also means that I have to have a nestegg saved away and be well prepared for every possible contingency, cuz there's no help either.  I did that for a great many years, as the shit rained down on me. I weathered it. But in the end just too much shit came down on me at once.  I maybe could have kept going, but what would have been the point?  

    Really, for all the trouble and expense she was, she wasn't worth the assistance she gave me.  So I learned enough chinese to take care of business, find apartments, date, shop, etc.  You're right.  Now that I'm back I'm so woefully behind my peers it's ridiculous.  But so what, I'll just leave the country again once I recoup.  Beijing will probably not be my destination, but I'm not writing anything in stone either.  I lived there nearly 14  years and know that city like the back of my hand.  Can't help but have a certain sentimental attachment despite its utter shittiness.  So who knows?


    _________________
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    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Aug 12, 2015 4:51 pm

    I'd like to get out of China.

    But maybe I'll be trapped here until I drop dead.

    And then eggraid can come and piss on my grave.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Aug 12, 2015 5:24 pm

    well,

    if the shit rained down on you and you went back home what's the point of coming back?

    i don't get it. you took a year off just to come back to the same situation?

    why are you fixated on beijing? who cares if you know the city well?

    sorry, but if i were you, i'd think things out a little more.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Aug 13, 2015 3:50 pm

    I really don't recommend coming back here.

    Well if you can't find anything else then fine.

    But I think eggraid's strategy is more sound. Finding an entry-level job of any kind back home is better.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Aug 14, 2015 10:55 am

    no matter where you live or work, there's problems.

    just different kinds.

    sometimes, your job might be more interesting abroad, but you have to put up with different kind of bullshit that you wouldn't back home.

    the more i think about it, the more i realize there's no magic formula. staying entails all kinds of bullshit that you need to endure, but moving back also has its drawbacks.

    that's why i haven't made the decision to leave even though i've contemplated it for a long time.

    all western countries seem to be getting increasingly fascist. in lesser developed countries, you can still smoke in bars.

    so roll the dice.

    and ps, far be it from me to interfere in your threads. one good thing about this forum is lack of political correctness, which seems like a problem everywhere else.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Aug 14, 2015 11:23 am

    The bar I've been going to here allows indoor smoking.

    But even though they let you smoke, they don't let you DRINK!  After four black russians the bartender cuts me off. Mad

    I'm like WTF, I'm just barely getting started here!

    She's surveilled by camera and under very strict scrutiny.  If you behave drunk at all you get the boot.

    That's ok cuz I already have a fifth of vodka stored away back home.  Also the convenience store sells really strong cocktails in a can now, like 12%!

    Not that it matters, cuz I'm quitting drinking.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Aug 14, 2015 11:29 am

    Yeah, it costs $2000 to have your teeth cleaned and jobs pay $8 hour... if you're lucky enough to get one.

    Do the math.  It all adds up to  DOES NOT FUCKING WORK AT ALL.

    A job in America now just keeps you in poverty.

    I just talked to the admissions lady at the uni today and it looks like I can get in.  She might have a way to navigate around my student loan mess too... we'll see.

    I'll get that THEN I'll come back to Asia with my fancy-pants English degree and live large.

    Ironic that I'd be studying English after fkn teaching it for 13 years.  Rolling Eyes

    Well I guess it'll be a little more advanced than what I was doing.

    "There have snow outside."    It's snowing.


    Last edited by Psioncy on Fri Aug 14, 2015 11:30 am; edited 1 time in total


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5171
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Aug 14, 2015 11:30 am

    Psioncy wrote:
    Not that it matters, cuz I'm quitting drinking.

    quitting drinking is very easy. he does it every day.


    The Great Splendini

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    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Aug 14, 2015 3:40 pm

    the cost of living will probably work out to your advantage living in "asia" compared to the US.

    but at what cost?

    i have felt unsafe here and i think it's the same in all asian countries.

    apart from feeling unsafe, you always feel like an outsider. it starts to drive you batshit crazy after a while.

    god i miss that feeling of being at HOME where I don't have to walk down the streets and try so hard to avoid attracting attention to myself, standing out for fear of being noticed and stared at and all the rest of it. not to mention fear of being attacked.

    fuck it.

    it's better to have a low-paying job back home.

    you're an idiot. if you're going to invest time and money getting more training, get trained and certified to teach in the public school system back home.




    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Aug 14, 2015 4:46 pm

    Look at this:

    http://www.andrew-drummond.com/2015/06/robbed-kidnapped-and-in-fear-of-their.html

    An Irish guy went to Thailand, got rich doing business and his kids got kidnapped and the authorities colluded to take away his 7 properties.

    Granted, not ALL Asian countries are as corrupt as Thailand.

    Could this happen in China? Maybe not. But maybe still some thugs would take you down. No one in Asia can tolerate Westerners coming in and making money.

    So maybe not in China. But all the other Asian countries? Yeah, they're easily just as corrupt.

    Now of course you wouldn't have this problem unless you were rich. But still man. I'm broke and still I get a lot of unwanted attention.

    Fuck it. These Asian countries, anything goes with stupid laowai who think they can come in and have a normal life.

    But of course Asians are free to flaunt their wealth in Western countries and no one will bat an eyelid.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:22 pm

    Now you got me thinking that maybe I can go back to school for some kind of training.

    But not for a teaching job....

    Because I don't want to work and live abroad anymore.

    I'm sick of this shit.

    eggraid

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  eggraid on Sat Aug 15, 2015 10:47 am

    Sciency:

    Do it! Yes. Go back to Beijing. It will be all different this time. Great friends, girls, shitloads of money. Great colleagues. Have you heard that Chinese people have changed since you were there? If not Beijing, try Cambodia. I'm sure it will be grrrreat successs as Borat would have said. Just go Sciency. Make your village proud. Seek great fortune!

    eggraid

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  eggraid on Sat Aug 15, 2015 10:51 am

    Entry-level job in USA is comparable to that of a developing country. But then, I suppose it's better in Canada. Just take anything you can get your hands on. Eventually you'll get a minor promotion something better pops up. Way better than staying in China. Quality of life in China is low. Very low. Fun for a couple of years, but after a while you get to taste the bitter apple that Chinese people eat everyday and then you're like: I want to live in a developed country.

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Aug 15, 2015 11:25 am

    I just read a blog by a guy who lived in Thailand, got tired of all the corruption.

    Went back to new zealand.

    But he was shocked by the prices. In Bangkok, he had a huge apartment but in New Zealand he will need to spend much more money for a small apartment and nowhere near the hustle and bustle of downtown.

    And he claims real estate in New Zealand is a fortune. You can pay easily 1 million for a home.

    So basically, what it boils down to is: Quality of Life has many aspects. Cost of housing / purchasing power is one of them. And in some cases, teaching abroad or working abroad will get you a higher quality of life in that respect.

    But in many other respects, quality of life is lower in China and Asian countries. Like corruption, possibility of getting yourself killed.

    And if you ever make a lot of money in a foreign country, you can't drive around in a BMW like you could back home without being a target.

    So anyway, the point is there is no ideal place to live. Some aspects of quality of life are actually better in either case.

    But for the long long term, I honestly don't think any Asian countries are feasible.

    I'm actually considering Europe. I was hoping the economy would bounce back there, but some forecasts estimate that the economy in many European countries may be slugging for at least another 20 years. But in Europe, I would get citizenship and you don't stand out as much as in Asia.

    But then again, who knows? Asian economies are the fastest-growing (not Japan) and they are in between developing and developed, so there are some advantages.

    Honestly, I wouldn't know what advice to give to anyone. A lot of people are struggling to make ends meet in "developed" countries because everything is so expensive, arguably over-priced.

    One article claims health care in Kuala Lumpur is 90% cheaper than in the US, and still quite good.




    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Aug 15, 2015 11:27 am

    The ideal is if you have a GOOD-PAYING JOB in a developed country.

    But if not, it's debatable whether it's better to live abroad.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Aug 15, 2015 3:03 pm

    The bottom line is this:

    I have literally felt that it is not 100% safe in China over the last 2 years.

    And I suspect this is the case in most if not all Asian countries, with the possible exception of Japan (and South Korea?), which are essentially the only 'developed' Asian countries.

    Maybe I'm exaggerating. Or maybe I have just been unlucky to run into so many bad people.

    But if I stay, I think I would have to go through this uncertainty the rest of my life.

    Which isn't worth it.

    So to me, Asia is not feasible to spend your whole life.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Aug 15, 2015 3:08 pm

    Something else you need to consider.

    What are the prisons like in Cambodia?

    I'm guessing human rights are not that high on the list for prison guards there.

    It's a worse-case scenario, but I'm not an aggressive guy and I've nearly been involved in several confrontations here because some people have been hostile towards me and I've lost my temper. So spending time in the slammer is a possibility in any of these countries, what with all the racist assholes who don't want you here and are itching to pick a fight.

    I heard the prisons in Thailand are scary. Probably Cambodia is the same. Highly underdeveloped countries have some serious and scary issues to think about.

    And maybe that 8$ an hour job is not that bad compared to having to confront some of these darker aspects of living in these jungles.

    And Cambodia is a jungle. There's a flip side. It can be fun too I guess. But whatever...




    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Aug 15, 2015 6:14 pm

    Anyway, I'm starting to sound like an old lady.

    There might be some risk in living abroad, but that's life.

    Most expats live abroad forever and ever and never really have any serious issues.

    And quality of life? Some expats are doing much better here than back home, some not as good...

    So the bottom line: Go with your gut
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  Psioncy on Sun Aug 16, 2015 4:57 am

    eggraid wrote:Sciency:

    Do it! Yes. Go back to Beijing. It will be all different this time. Great friends, girls, shitloads of money. Great colleagues. Have you heard that Chinese people have changed since you were there? If not Beijing, try Cambodia. I'm sure it will be grrrreat successs as Borat would have said. Just go Sciency. Make your village proud. Seek great fortune!

    Oh I had quite a stretch of living large.  And women?  They were just raining down on me -in torrents -by the bucketload.

    After 13 years of independent living in Beijing, I have no allusions about what to expect there.  There are, however, aspects, I truly like.  I'm not materialistic at all, just require my necessities.  That last apartment I lived was way deep in the hutongs and the neighbors were perfectly amicable.  I liked being able to get around everywhere I needed by bike or e-bike.  Shit, this town I'm in now is all set up for bikes, but they did it all for me apparently.  When I'm out, nobody else is using the bike paths.  I hate owning a car.  It's too damn expensive:  cost of the vehicle, excise tax, fuel, insurance, repairs...  

    This ain't Sweden, pal.  Things aren't any better down here in Florida than they were in Maine.  At the local bar I often see young men coming through asking about if there's any work to be had.  There ain't.

    I spent a lot of my life camping before my first marriage, months and months of it every year.  That divorce landed me in a campground, where I found myself.... happier!  Living in Asia, particularly the hutongs, is to me like "urban camping."  It's full of shitty bullshit, but overall I like it.  I could have kept going too, cept that the bottle was completely getting the better of me.

    Working 9-5 and living comfortably in the burbs has never worked for me.  I find it fucking depressing.  Uninspiring.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Sober now...

    Post  Psioncy on Sun Aug 16, 2015 5:04 am

    The Great Splendini wrote:

    And maybe that 8$ an hour job is not that bad compared to having to confront some of these darker aspects of living in these jungles.


    You can't do shit here on $8 an hour.  It's wage slavery is all it is, feudalism's newest incarnation.  It's how the corporo-fascist elite keep their thumb on the plebes -that and keeping everyone saddled with debt. If the cheapest rents run $500 - $600 and cars cost tens of thousands and a dental cleaning cost fkn 2 grande, how the fuck is anyone supposed to afford it on $8?  They're not.  That's the entire point.

    And those jobs are, of course, all part-time so they don't need to provide you with health insurance.

    Even if you make somewhat better money, there's still no end to how far you'll be gouged.  There's no end to it, right unto the grave.  And if there's anything left after you're dead, they'll be sure to take a massive cut of that too.

    So fuck it, I'll take the deep dark jungle with all its ills over *that*.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5171
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sun Aug 16, 2015 7:04 am

    Yeah, you're probably right.

    And that's probably why I haven't moved back despite hating so many things about living here.

    Just go abroad. No problem. Millions of people are working overseas now.



    The Great Splendini

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    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Sober now...

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sun Aug 16, 2015 7:05 am

    And the deep dark jungle might be more fun anyway.

    Cambodia sounds like an adventurous place. Like you'll have a lot of interesting experiences there.


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