Laid Bare!


    I need a GDM drink!!!

    Share
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Tue May 31, 2016 12:43 pm

    After a year of having a liquor store literally two blocks from me, I'm back in bumfuck nowhere without a car.  Nearest liquor store.... 30 m'fkn miles.  Mad

    I've been stone dead sober for three weeks now, and it's driving me bananas.

    I know that like drinking is bad or whatever.  Really, I know that better than *anyone*.

    But the only thing worse than drinking is NOT DRINKING.  It sucks so hard.  Life is jsut meaningless and boring.

    Soooooo fkn boring.  I feel mentally constipated.  Sure, my body feels a lot better and I have better mental clarity and all that overrated horseshit, but the thing of it is that I need to wipe myself out once in a while to gain a fresh perspective on things.  Being incessentally sober like this makes everything seem so joyless.  It's just all crap that you ahve to do and then a lot of reading, but wholly UNINSPIRED.

    I need me some liquid inspiration is what I need.   Twisted Evil

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Yeah, that's what I need: a black russian.  Hell, make that six.  (After that I'll give up on any pretense of class and just suck it down straight from the  bottles as I usually do.)

    There aren't even any bars around here, nothing.  WTF, how do people live like this?  When I was younger we used to go out to gravel pits and remote spots on the coast and islands to get our drink on.  

    Actually come to think of it, one of the popular teenage party spots is only a couple miles from here.  Maybe I'll hoof it down there on a friday night and try to schmooze some booze.

    Hopefully those little pimple faced retards'll have some gdm liquor and not be drinking pussy ass bullshit like wine coolers and Pissweiser. Rolling Eyes


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5167
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  The Great Splendini on Tue May 31, 2016 2:26 pm

    Well, I happen to like wine coolers.

    Even the Wal-Mart here has apple cider from Australia and I liked it.

    Sweet alcohol is where the action be at.

    Yeah dude, good luck functioning in society with that drinking problem of yours.

    Or maybe it helps deal with all the insanity around you.

    Maybe I should drink more. It would help me stay more mellow.
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Jun 01, 2016 1:28 am

    Sugary alcohol drinks are like ingesting double sugar because ethyl alcohol IS sugar.

    It's best to drink straight liquor with water, trust me.

    Beer and wine are full of other pointless shit, like sugar, and turn you into a pissing machine if consumed in sufficient quantities.

    That's because these are the precursors to ethanol, not the end product, which is liquor.  Whatever you're drinking should be 30-40% alcohol and the rest of it WATER, and it should be consumed with WATER.  

    If you drink sweet liqueurs and wine coolers and shit like that, you are begging for diabetes.  Unless you're some kind of lightweight that drinks in "moderation."   Rolling Eyes

    They're also a waste of money.  Budweiser is only like 5% alcohol content, yet you're paying a buck or two for it.  Comparably priced cheap 40% vodka nets you 8 times the amount of alcohol for your money.  TASTE HAS NOTHING DO WITH IT.  Ethanol is a molecule that tastes like deadly poison, period, and it is the basis for ALL alcoholic drinks.  Taste is not the point of drinking.  If you want some quote/unquote "taste" drink it with some low sugar juice drink or something at least moderately healthy.  Water is the best choice.

    Straight up liquor with water.  Fuck all the rest of the bullshit out there; it's all just marketing.  No matter what alcoholic beverage one buys, the main selling point is the ethanol, which is cheap and abundant. Even these expensive liquors are a joke. Aged bourbon, whatever. Rolling Eyes The only good whiskey I've ever had was FRESH. All these fancy shmancy connoisseurs out there buying their liquors at $80 a bottle are pissing away money on what should be a very, very inexpensive product: Fermented and distilled SUGAR WATER. Any simple carb can be fermented into alchol, any. Made of fkn anything! You name it: sugar, corn, fruit, rice, whatever.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Jun 01, 2016 1:40 am

    In fact, if I wasn't so lazy I could just take a bucket, clean it, and fill it with warm sugar water and bread yeast.  Then pop a lid on it with a pinhole to let the gas escape, and wait a week or two.  That wash should be around 10% ethanol.  I could then "jack" it to 40-50%.  Jack just means put the wash in the freezer for a while.  The water will freeze, so you put the slush in a colander and drain out some pretty strong  liquor with no distillation involved.

    But I'm too lazy to do that.  Liquor is a RIGHT NOW thing for me, not something I'm willing to wait patiently on for two gdm weeks.  I'd probably end up drinking the wash at %1 and barely even feel it.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5167
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Jun 01, 2016 5:17 am

    If taste has nothing to do with drinking, then you're a hard core junkie.

    For me, I just drink for taste. I haven't been wasted since high school.

    And most beer tastes like crap. Except there was one microbrewery beer that I liked. It was called Rogue. Had a really good taste.

    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Jun 01, 2016 9:19 am

    Man, what kind of chronic asian expat never gets sloshed?

    Deplorable.  Evil or Very Mad

    What F-ing reason is there NOT to get wasted when you're an Engrish slinging white monkey balls deep in the heartland of The Yellow Hoard?

    I mean, jesus, you live, work, and breath in chinkytown retardworld, where ultra cheap liquor is abundant.

    There is a store, bar, or restaurant very near you right now that will sell you a brain-fizzling quantity of baijiu for sofa change.

    No wonder you can't ever cope with anything.   Rolling Eyes

    Buck up and start behaving like a proper expat fer chrissake.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Wed Jun 01, 2016 9:34 am

    Dude, it's so easy.  Go get like six of those baijiu cups with the wolfberry in them.  Open the lid with a screwdriver and hold your nose while you slug it down. (Ignore the intense urge to vomit. If you do projectile vomit uncontrollably, don't worry, that's perfectly natural. Just wait a couple minutes and try again.)  Repeat two more times.  Congrats, you're already pretty buzzed... in just ten minutes!

    Now slug down some jingjiu with water or more baijiu while you post here.  

    Within an hour you'll be feeling fucking incredible.  And before you know it you'll be chain posting incoherent threats and obscenities, just like your mentor, me, Psioncy.

    Seriously, it only takes a few minutes to get started and costs next to nothing.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5167
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Jun 01, 2016 2:07 pm

    Yeah, thanks for the helpful advice catapulting my life further on a downward spiral than it already is.

    MOVIES are escapism, aren't they?

    It's good enough for me.


    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 5167
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:43 pm

    sciency, i don't like violence.

    it's bad for business.

    so here's what we gonna do.

    hey you know someone invented a home personal beer-making machine.

    find it hard to believe.

    but here's your chance to turn water into wine and drink more cheaply than ever.


    eggraid

    Posts : 531
    Join date : 2014-07-17

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  eggraid on Sun Jun 05, 2016 7:13 pm

    To make your own beer is supereasy and cheap. Just have to plan it a bit. A few weeks and you have roughly 30 litres of beer. Buy a starter kit and get it done!

    I did cocaine two weeks ago! A night of cocaine in sweden rounds up to about 700 rmb. Not sure about the quality, but hey it works and you dont get a hangover.

    Im lucky to live in a bar area where i keep the beers on tap, host the pub quiz and get 500rmb taken of from the tab each time i host it. Get some extra work in a bar to get nifty deals! You also befriend the owner while youre at it so they usually end up cuttong off some extra from your tab!

    Move to f---ing bar area already!

    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Mon Jun 06, 2016 2:37 am

    eggraid wrote:

    Move to f---ing bar area already!


    That's what I'm F-ing trying to do!

    I'll be in Bangkok soon.  That oughta work, right?

    See I don't think we're the same kind of bar guys.  You like quiz nights and fancy microbrews, while I'm more into ghetto-esque dive bars brimming with degenerates.  You know, someplace I fit in.

    Cocaine we do completely align on however.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Thu Jun 09, 2016 8:03 am

    From what I'm reading, local liquors are pretty cheap in Bangkok.  Really, this all turning out to be wicked cheaperer than I'd anticipated.

    I'm looking at private accomodation with hot water/wifi/private toilet/airconditioning for $15 dollars a night... DOWNTOWN.  Apparently this area I'll be staying in is one of the more happening in the city.

    Also, there are bars where you can order mixed drinks by the BUCKET!  Shocked

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    I'll probably go for the cheap one that's 120 baht, as long as the alcohol content is the same, who gives an F.  That's like <$3.50 USD for a bucket sized cocktail at a bar.  Sweeeeet.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:34 am

    Man, I was soooo close to a 1.75 ltr bottle of vodka today I could touch it.

    Even had the mad cash to pay for it!

    But I ain't got no car, so I had to ride back wit momz.  No way to get to the store without her.

    And she's like a warden.  The last time I tried to drink at her house, she saw one of my drunken facebook posts and came in and confiscated my liquor.

    I hate being out in the boondocks wit no stores.  It's all just incredibly beautiful coastline, lighthouses, trees and completely worthless shit like that.  Not even a gdm store!  FKN nothing.

    Well, little does she know I found a big old bottle of vanilla extract in the recesses of her cabinets today.  And believe me, I fkn chugged it.  Strong stuff, gotta be 60-80% ethanol.

    Oh God, I'm so pathetic.   Sad

    Thailand next month.  I'm even considering some jobs there.  I hope Bangkok is ready for me, cuz I got a LOT of pent up steam from being stuck in nowhereland the last year and a half.

    I mean I know Bangkok is pretty well known for being a degenerate pit of vice, but it has yet to meet the likes of *me*   Shocked


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:45 am

    I got everything ready... except the job.

    Flight, accommodation, visa.

    I'll have to get by on peanuts, but that's all right as long as I got a roof over my head and internet.

    I still have a month to figure the job out.  I'm pretty open now to whatever is good as long as it's somehwere cool.  I've got my eye on a 50k baht job in central bangkok, but I've also got a lot of stuff I can take in China that pays more.  I just kinda want to try Thailand for a year.  Even though I don't know the language or anything, that's fine.  I didn't know any Chinese when I got to China either and I managed to figure shit out.

    I'm gonna be like those expats that used annoy me and just be completely unapologetic about speaking English to locals.  I'm done with that bullshit.  I had a flip GF in Beijing who couldn't speak Chinese and just spoke English to everyone.... and guess what?  She always got shit figured out.  So whatever, I'm just gonna speak English faster and louder and more belligerently until they get the message.  Language barrier = solved!


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    eggraid

    Posts : 531
    Join date : 2014-07-17

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  eggraid on Sun Jun 19, 2016 7:34 am

    As long as you have a low-paid esl job in thailand you will be able to get drunk on a weekly basis, if not on a daily one. Watch out with that. I suggest you get one of those silk monkeys as a pet. Id do that and anything i do is fucken awesome.

    Dont buy any cocaine in thailand. They'll rip you apart. Just do cocaine, but domt buy any.

    A long time swedish friend of mine lives in thailand now, in exile for running an illegal law firm. Thats awesome. Not sure if he does cocaine or has silk monkeys though. He probably drinks a lot. Go visit him. Hell probably think youre an ass as he hugger moral standings than i have.

    Anyway, me and gf are going to amsterdam in july. Im going to be wrecked in a canale somewhere in amsterdam.

    Life choice #1: pick a gf who thinks its ok that youre wrecked

    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6494
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: I need a GDM drink!!!

    Post  Psioncy on Tue Jun 21, 2016 10:40 am

    Wrecked in a canal! Maybe we are on the same wavelength after all.

    I'm only applying to the higher paying ESL jobs in Thailand. If I can't get that, I'm taking work in China probably.

    I'm not touching f-ing drugs in Thailand, don't worry. From what i understand they are everywhere, but if you get busted the penalties are quite severe. Not worth the risk.

    Besides, liquor is abundant and pharmaceuticals are nothing to get hold of, so who needs sketchy street drugs anyway? Same in China, I didn't bother with the stupid crap drugs they were peddling all over SLT. Back before 2008, people were huffing weed all over the place in SLT, but those days are long past.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

      Current date/time is Thu Oct 19, 2017 1:24 pm