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    Eggraid is OK

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    RobertBlack

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    Join date : 2016-07-30

    Eggraid is OK

    Post  RobertBlack on Mon Aug 15, 2016 2:03 am



    I was involved in an egg raid once.

    At an all male hostel. We were known as the animal house. There was a new hostel, mainly with chicks, but a few guys, and a couple of our guys were in their TV room watching their TV for free, and trying to pick up pussy, which is pretty smart right there. Some of the most intelligent fuckers I ever met, were at that hostel.

    Including the deputy prime minister. And some great athletes.

    Anyway, here is the story:

     It was late in the year, exam time and the weather was warming up. It was my first year at Selwyn College, the university hostel just north of the campus in Castle Street. It had been a fairly bad year for me, not much in the girlfriend department and mostly just drinking with my friends, sleeping in until noon and missing most of my lectures.
     There was a large cherry tree growing in the quad, and it was said that if you had not started studying seriously by the time it had started blossoming, then you would not pass that year. I had not started studying, yet it was in full blossom.
     It was a Sunday and we were having lunch. It was late, with only a few diners left. One of them was Peter, sitting with a girl he often hung out with. He was tall and thin, effeminate, and quite obviously gay. Though the hostel was known as being notoriously tough, Peter was respected and left alone. He joined in with all the activities, and had not opted out of the scary initiation weeks. To do so meant getting an X chalked on your door, and pretty much a year of ostracism by most of the hundred or so other students residing there.
     The hostel prided itself on its history, which included its traditions and rules. For example on Sunday lunches you needed to wear a suit and tie, socks and proper shoes. You could not swear in the servery and so on.
     The punishment for breaking these rules was to be bathed. You had to wear black shorts, and nothing else and a bathing party of five people had to assemble, two for the legs, two for the arms and one for the neck. You were submerged, pushed down for a few seconds and during that time you had to struggle. If you did not struggle the bathing would continue until you did sufficiently. By this time of the year, most people had been bathed, at least once. It wasn’t really a big deal, kind of fun actually. I had been bathed for swearing in the servery.
     Anyway, this day Moonface noticed that Peter’s guest was not wearing socks. Though she was a female, this was still a breach, and as she was Peter’s guest, technically he had to be bathed. I felt that I could not be bothered, but Moonface was a bit of a stickler for tradition, and insisted.
     Moonface had got his name by his unfortunate large round face. He was also well known as he had fallen asleep on his mother’s couch in Queenstown, smoking a cigarette and had burned the place down. For weeks after that Burning Down The House by Talking Heads had blared out from the second years’ speakers out the windows and into the quad.
     Peter shrugged his shoulders and agreed and went to change into his black shorts.
     Normally there was always a bath in the quad, for this purpose. But it often got stolen by other hostel members, mostly Knox, who were our main rivals. It brought prestige to risk doing something to Selwyn, as it was considered a bit of an animal house.
     One time, at the beginning of the year during initiation, UniCol, who were mainly home economic students, decided to raid us, with paint bombs, water balloons and so on. Unfortunately for them, some Selwyn guys used to often go and watch TV in their TV lounge, and overheard their plan.
     We were all grouped into a small army by the second years, and waited silently for them to come down Castle Street, armed with eggs and vegetables. It had been a complete annihilation and most of them ran away in shock. But some prisoners were taken and the second years staked this poor first year girl out in the centre of the quad and blindfolded her, while most of our hostel looked on with victorious glee, drinking beer.
     First they took the chain off a chainsaw and started it and ran it up and down her body, as she screamed hysterically. Then they filled large empty beer bottles with warm water, unzipped and zipped their flies to make a realistic sound, then pretended to piss on her body and face, by pouring the warm water slowly on her. Needless to say, by the time she left she was a quivering mess. How the police were never called, I have no idea.
     When the police did turn up, on occasions, mostly because of complaints from the public, when old ladies innocently walking down the street got water bombed and so on, we had great fun picking up the police cars and putting them under the arched entrance the wrong way, so they could not get out.
     Anyway, back to the bathing. That day, the bath had been taken and so we had to do it inside Sargood, where there was a bath.
     As usual the rugby guys had washed their gear in the bath, so the water was very brown and murky, with mud. That was always considered part of the punishment. The bath was filled up and we proceeded to bath Peter. I had his right shoulder and arm.
     We pushed him down.
     “Struggle!”
     Once, twice, was the norm.
     He certainly struggled.
     But to our shock, he started screaming. A high pitched scream, a blood curdling effeminate scream that I will never forget.
     “MY LEG!! MY LEG!!”
     He was quickly let go. To our horror, when he stood up, he had this huge gash just above his knee. It was a clean cut, a nasty slash, but there was no blood, so we could see all the sliced sinew and ligaments.
     Before the bathing, Moonface had quickly run his hand up and down the bath under the brown water and had given the OK, but he had missed half a broken milk bottle.
     The screaming continued. I felt sick and nearly passed out. Fortunately the sub warden was quickly called and he called an ambulance.
     Peter had his leg in a cast for six months. I never saw him much after the year ended, but I heard he never walked or ran, the same.

    eggraid

    Posts : 502
    Join date : 2014-07-17

    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  eggraid on Wed Aug 17, 2016 6:26 am

    Im on sick-leave until the 25th, maybe longer. 80% salary, but i can make it since staying off drugs/alcohol, . I paint, take walks and hang out with my fiancee. Im really not the violent type. Im quite perplexed at what i was able to do. I might sail land of the snglo-saxians and try my luck there, might be good st this whole frenzy thing

    eggraid

    Posts : 502
    Join date : 2014-07-17

    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  eggraid on Wed Aug 17, 2016 6:57 pm

    Things are not going all that bad.
    I met this girl called Ida, who had been talking to this friend of mine (Kim), who suggested to her that i do a wall painting in her cafe that is supposed to open within the coming months, which could be potentially awesome for me. The difficult part is that i can't improvise under preassure.

    Preassure:

    - Expensive materials
    - Expectations
    - Getting paid

    and i'm probably getting paid. Wtf. I couldt just give her some of my previous stuff and draw that on a wall using a projector, but that's f----lame. She might aswell hire an upholsterer. It's either that or i go bananas with paint on her walls

    Then it's this other painting i've been working on, where i've attempted to draw scenes from my neighbourhood using traditional Swedish folk lore. A friend of mine, who plays in this black metal band, asked me if i could draw Mylingar (unwanted newborn children, buried in the woods who comes back to haunt people, asking you to name them, and if they name them, they kill a child of your village as to replace that child). So now i want to work with a theme that incorprates that band, mylingar and decadent fuckedupness of my neighbour. I snuck out a few days ago sketched the outside of his studio/home and that's where i am now.

    I also started to get a good idea on how to paint the hypothalamus from a microscopic (anything you draw from a micropscopic angle is fucken awesome, if you put your own twist to it, even more so) photographs using coffee as i thought that would go hand in hand with me poppin pills and being on the verge of a mental breakdown. That's project number too

    Then it's all this stuff i draw mindlesslessly out of nowhere. I suppose it's that shit Ida wants in her cafe.

    Chinese ink is a pointless substance too. Really, awfully pointless.


    The Great Splendini

    Posts : 4840
    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:02 pm

    attempted murder ... wow!

    and to think i nearly missed this
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:05 pm

    Rumors of your death must have been exaggerated?
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:06 pm

    Anyway, welcome back.

    The Great Splendini

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    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:10 pm

    eggraid is a Troubled Man.

    no hopes to get better until they put him down to rest.

    anxiety and sorrow underneath his skin

    self-destruction and failure have beat his head in

    he laughed out loud once, but he wont' do that again

    always traveled the hell-fire road to chase the sweet smell of sin

    he is a troubled man

    he is a troubled man

    he'd do nothin' but hurt you if he can.

    he is a troubled man



    The Great Splendini

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    Join date : 2012-01-30

    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:14 pm

    I'm not (quite) dead.

    I'm not sticking around either.

    Maybe Silky will also come back now that I'm gone?

    So I'll let you guys take over the show.

    Does anybody know what we are living for?

    The show must go on.

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    Psioncy

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    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  Psioncy on Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:13 am

    Suspect

    Thanks for checking in. Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes

    Don't worry us like that EVER AGAIN!   Exclamation


    Last edited by Psioncy on Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:20 am; edited 1 time in total


    _________________
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  Psioncy on Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:18 am

    I'm so fucking pissed off at you right now.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    NoPieForYou

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    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  NoPieForYou on Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:29 am

    Psioncy wrote: Suspect

    Thanks for checking in.

    Don't worry us like that EVER AGAIN!   Exclamation

    Dont get your size 9 Crocs all rolled up. Wait...when you said wore size 9 shoes- you were talking men's size shoes. I dont know if you bad elves have specially sized shoes the mirror the fucking brain cells you said to have. Fuck, all I have to do is catch you and you *have* to tell me where your pot of gold is. Never was alcohol a factor in this equation.

    Micro Phallus flies below the radar because people write you guys off. Even Hitler lived work around this disability but you'll never amount to anything because just like Jared all you have is little Asian buttholes and 1 rmb green flasks of Chinese hooch on your mind.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  Psioncy on Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:32 am

    Jesus Christ. Do you ever think about anything other than other men's ding dongs?

    What a fkn faggot you are. Rolling Eyes


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    NoPieForYou

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    Join date : 2016-08-14

    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  NoPieForYou on Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:47 am

    Psioncy wrote:Jesus Christ.  Do you ever think about anything other than other men's ding dongs?

    What a fkn faggot you are.  Rolling Eyes


    Midgets and their tiny ding dongs is funny. However you inserting your fingers into children buttholes is sad. You because you are their size doesn't mean you can be playing ball in their playground.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: Eggraid is OK

    Post  Psioncy on Thu Aug 18, 2016 11:42 am

    Your mind is truly a gutter, Rainman, in need of thorough scrubbing.

    I'm being serious here, BTW.  It's not healthy to think like you do.  Your life will be a lot better if you make the change.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

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