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    Let me list my enemies.

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    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Sep 16, 2016 1:23 am

    i never factored in all the possibilities. maybe you're right.

    she had a 13 year old daughter.

    man, it would be a shocker from being single so many fucking years to inheriting a family.

    but a lot of girls in my age range now have baggage.

    anyway, i cut her loose and she hasn't tried to contact me.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Sep 16, 2016 1:54 am

    and speaking of enemies...

    my brother's wife has been a real bitch lately.

    she actually threatened to go into my college records. she works at the college where i graduated. what is she going to do? change all my A's and B' into D's and F's on my transcript?

    seriously, you never know who is going to turn against you and try to take you down.

    it's almost comical.

    i have no clue why she hates me so much all of a sudden.

    yeah, so keep an eye out for UFC and just about everyone else, including your own shadow.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Sep 16, 2016 2:32 pm

    LOL, wtf did you do to piss your sister-in-law off that badly?

    She ought to be careful doing that shit.  If you lawyered up and engaged the school administration, she'd be the fucked one.  

    Even without a lawyer you might be able to get into trouble with her job, and she'd deserve it too.

    Yeah kids really complicate matters.  

    I don't want to talk about relationship, beyond to say that it's pretty strange.  In a way it's been good for me.  For example, I haven't been fucking any of these Thai girls... and truthfully I'm better off it.  I walked into a massage place yesterday, because everyone kept telling me I had to try a Thai massage, so I figured OK I'd better do it while I'm here.  The oldest lady handed me a "menu," and went to describe it.  "This one you get nice handjob for your penis.  This one you can fuck." and like that.  I immediately handed her back the menu and walked out.

    Can you imagine the Psioncy of 5 years ago doing that?  I can't.

    It's all pay-for-sex here and I find it gross, as I always have but now far moreso. I'm getting out of these boondocks tomorrow and back to city "center."  That area is another red-light district like the first I was in.  I'll sure walk and take a look at things, as is all I did last time.  I genuinely don't want to do anything like that anymore.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Sep 16, 2016 4:19 pm

    Who are you trying to convince?

    Your evil twin?

    You are like Gollum.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:55 pm

    I'm much better looking than Gollum.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Sep 16, 2016 9:37 pm

    Maybe she was just fucking with me. I know she does have access to my transcripts. But she doesn't have any rights to modify them. And yeah, I'd sue her ass. That might be the ticket out of bankruptcy I need. Fuckin' evil bitch though. And I have no idea what I did to piss her off.

    Speaking of Gollum, I met a British chick in China and she would impersonate Gollum. She had a nice eccentric British humor, but unfortunately not that hot.

    Ok, this is the conversation that transpired as Sciency / Psioncy was waiting outside a Thai massage parlor:

    Gollum / Sciency
    Smeagol / Psioncy

    Gollum: We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. (ie massage with hand job)
    Smeagol: [shaking his head] No. Not master!

    Gollum: [snarling malevolently] Yes, precious, false! They will cheat you, hurt you, LIE.
    Smeagol: Master is my friend.

    Gollum: You don't have any friends; nobody likes you!
    Smeagol: [closes his ears with his hands] I'm not listening... I'm not listening...

    Gollum: You're a liar and a thief.
    Smeagol: No.
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Sep 16, 2016 10:10 pm

    Haha!

    That's priceless.

    Laughing
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Sep 16, 2016 10:12 pm

    My precious!!



    I wants it!! I needs it!!

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Fri Sep 16, 2016 10:17 pm

    yeah, the booze AND the hand jobs. both are his "precious".

    and I like the "I'm not listening" line. Would be really fucking funny if Sciency actually has that conversation in his mind.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Sep 16, 2016 11:52 pm

    RobertBlack wrote:My precious!!



    I wants it!! I needs it!!

    Wow, you are fkn uncanny.

    That is *exactly* what I'm drinking.

    How do you do that?


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  Psioncy on Fri Sep 16, 2016 11:59 pm

    The Great Splendini wrote:yeah, the booze AND the hand jobs. both are his "precious".

    and I like the "I'm not listening" line. Would be really fucking funny if Sciency actually has that conversation in his mind.


    Yeah well my hands have a good time once in a while too.

    Yesterday I went into to this coffee shop to you know, order a cup of coffee.

    All these dudes were praying to this monk outside.  Not my business.

    Who does he think he is, king shit?

    So the girl in coffee shop was frantically ignoring me, fixing coffee and cake for take out.

    I figured, "Ok, she has a job to do."

    Nope.  It was for the fucking monk.  She frantically ran out, gave it to him, and got down and started praying.

    In the meanwhile, I AM WAITING FOR MY FUCKING COFFEE!

    To her credit, she was concerned with paying customers too... just as I opened the door to leave.

    Apologizing and apologizing.

    Not good enough.  But... like the patient man I am, I stood waiting for my coffee.

    If she knew any better, she'd be praying to *me.*


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  Psioncy on Sat Sep 17, 2016 12:13 am

    What? I'm fkn celibate. Can I just put on some robes and be like "Hey, give me free coffee and shit?"

    You know, Holy Man, fuck you.

    I know your scam, you charlatan.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    RobertBlack

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    Join date : 2016-07-30

    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Sat Sep 17, 2016 12:18 am

    Psioncy wrote:
    RobertBlack wrote:My precious!!



    I wants it!! I needs it!!

    Wow, you are fkn uncanny.

    That is *exactly* what I'm drinking.

    How do you do that?

    A good guess. I Googled Thai booze, and extrapolated.

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    Psioncy

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  Psioncy on Sat Sep 17, 2016 12:22 am

    I *paid* for my coffee, you poor SOB.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  Psioncy on Sat Sep 17, 2016 12:23 am

    RobertBlack wrote:
    Psioncy wrote:
    RobertBlack wrote:My precious!!



    I wants it!! I needs it!!

    Wow, you are fkn uncanny.

    That is *exactly* what I'm drinking.

    How do you do that?

    A good guess. I Googled Thai booze, and extrapolated.


    That was an excellent Google. Either the credit goes to Google or to you.

    I'd prefer it goes to you, cuz Google is an SOB.

    And yes, you can him that I said. Quote me directly. Psioncy.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    Psioncy

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    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  Psioncy on Sat Sep 17, 2016 12:25 am

    Actually it's wrong.

    I drink "Hong Thong."

    but "Sam Thong" is the second most popular choice.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    RobertBlack

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    Join date : 2016-07-30

    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Sat Sep 17, 2016 12:47 am

    When I was in ChongQing, I used to drink this shit before and between lessons. Like Grade 1 and 2.

    Those were the days...



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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Sat Sep 17, 2016 12:48 am

    Oh I forgot the pic:



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    Psioncy

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  Psioncy on Sat Sep 17, 2016 1:17 am

    OMG you are so good at this.

    Yes, Jingjiu was my weapon of choice China. It's a yaojiu, or medicinal alcohol.

    The primary ingredient is deer penis. I didn't learn that until I was like three years into drinking it.

    And then it was too late.

    But, hey, guess what? Deer penis is nothing new to me. I see it every day at my mom's house.

    REAL DEER DICK. Every day. I don't drink it, per se, but I see it.

    I ain't scared of UFC or nobody else.


    _________________
    "It's all part of the plan."
    "What is the plan?"
    "I kind of make the plan up as I go."
    "That's not really a plan then."
    "Okay, so it's not a plan. Look, I'm not good with plans."
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    RobertBlack

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    Join date : 2016-07-30

    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Sat Sep 17, 2016 2:58 am

    Your Mum likes deer dick? Mad


    Last edited by RobertBlack on Sat Sep 17, 2016 3:09 am; edited 1 time in total

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Sep 17, 2016 3:00 am

    He doesn't like to talk about it much, but that's how he was conceived.

    The alcohol helps with the mutated genes.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Sat Sep 17, 2016 3:51 am

    All jokes aside, Sciency is all right.

    I never met Psioncy, but I came close.

    I think we all know The Den story now.

    To his credit, he probably thought I wasn't coming.

    When I did meet him, about 7 years before, he was this straight married cunt, whose only motivation was to save money.

    But he stood up for me on a couple of occasions.

    There was this one alcoholic American cunt who started to lay into me verbally, when I first arrived, as he thought I was a Kiwi, and all green. And Sciency defended me. Not that I needed it, but hey defense is always appreciated, as it shows good character.

    Our boss was a bully. An old English wanker.

    I recall at my contract signing interview, he just ranted on and on about his past working life.

    I was like you fucking dick, but like I said, I had just escaped a previous college, and needed a new visa.

    He sucked balls big time.

    The next time Sciency impressed me, was when an old Australian, in her eighties had complained because she had been woken up with a Chinese cleaner banging her on the head, to wake her up. A no no in Beijing?

    Yes, of course, but the place was shit, racist, when one of my gf's visited me, the cleaner told her I had fucked a lot of girls previously in my apartment, when in fact at that time, it was only one previous girl (Li Ting from my novel).

    Then, when I left, the same bitch tried to say I nicked all the plates and glasses. But my new gf was a tough, rich Beijing bitch, who spat on other Chinese who pissed her off, so the cleaner soon backed off.

    Anyway, we had this big meeting.

    I had already got on the piss with the elderly Australian lady, of course, and had to carry her stinky drunken ass home on occasions. But she was all right. And my gf liked her.

    And I had taken over a class for her with kids, as she hated them, and I had very few classes.

    People had organized and signed a petition in protest. I hadn't signed, as I thought it was pointless. For all I knew Sciency had prepared it.

    And at the meeting, Sciency was the only cunt with the balls to stand up to the old cunt, who basically just said, I have 20 CV's for new teachers, and if you push this issue, you will all be fired and replaced within a day.

    It did no good though, and we all went off with our tails between our legs.

    And then, when I got fired, Sciency again stuck up for me.

    So there you go, Gollum born from deer semen or not, he is actually quite a good cunt.

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Sat Sep 17, 2016 4:04 am

    interesting.

    never met him in person.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Sat Sep 17, 2016 4:09 am

    That old English dick, I think he used to be a driver of some sort in the UK, like a chauffeur, had his favourites.

    He set it up that way. He was a real shady cunt, but hey, he ruled his roost. It was a pretty nasty place, racist, with a real pecking order. I mean racist against us, the waiguoren teachers.

    There was this one African American. who I used to run and box with, the old cunt just loved him. The guy got a job reading the sports news on a very well known TV channel. So he did well, had his finger in so many pies.

    I think the guy is almost a senator now, back in the US, or a DA or something.
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Let me list my enemies.

    Post  RobertBlack on Sat Sep 17, 2016 4:19 am

    But, actually, I pretty much had a ball there, when I first arrived, I wasn't drinking, was meditating, and I recall going to Poachers with Li Ting, who was drinking up big, and I was being really judgmental about bars and drunk people.

    She got drunker and drunker, and then I took her home and fucked the shit out of her.

    That non-drinking meditation period went on for about a month.

    I even got my new gf, who was pretty hot, and rich, during a pre-enrollment English test. We talked for so long, the racist Chinese bitch on duty was banging on the window, and I just laughed. Took her to lunch, fucked her after swimming the next day.

    And then I slowly slipped back.

    Remember those small bottles of Great Wall red wine you could buy?

    I started with those, as I had done in Shenyang. So nice.

    And then, I was like back on the booze big time.

    Got a nice back kick from one of those kung fu bouncers at Maggies, after falling asleep on the couches. Was with the boxer.

    It was the only time in nine years any Chinese guy touched me.

    But I did tell him, I would fuck his mother, so fair dues, and we were all mates ten minutes later, and he was just telling me to go home.

    I was only there a few months.

    Finally, I was out with this big Kiwi cunt, also a boxer. who had won golden gloves. As a heavyweight I think.

    He was young though, kind of followed me around like a lap dog.

    Anyway, one time we went to this new bar down the road, it was really weird as they had all these empty bottles, like a real bar, but no real booze.

    We managed to get a couple of bottles of shitty warm beer from them, but we wanted something stronger.

    Then when we complained they tried to get money from us when we left. So I got all heavy, and when I got across the road I threw my bottle at the bar and it shattered harmlessly against the side brick wall.

    They came running out of course, but they were pussies, and just went back in.

    I never thought about it much, but the next weekend I was with the big Kiwi cunt at the Taniwha bar, stoned, playing pool, about 4 am, and he went out then came back all stressed, said he needed money, and so I just went out with him into that narrow street, in little San Li Tun, and as soon as I got out the door, I was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

    The dumb fuck had thrown an empty stubbie and it had hit a taxi.

    Then he had stirred the cunts up to the point that there were like forty taxi drivers wanting to kill the cunt.

    Now that's a time machine, you don't want, stoned, playing pool, ready to go home and sleep, and then pounced on and handcuffed.

    And because my beast emerged, I was the one fired, not the Kiwi cunt. That was the last time Sciency defended me.

    The cops were basically slapping me around the face as I was writing down their ID numbers. Well, I am a lawyer, after all.

    But then I told the top cop (maybe in Beijing) that I was going to burn down his house, and rape his wife.

    Probably going a bit far, but then again, I was innocent.

    I got the Kiwi cunt back though, set him up, and he got re-arrested, and fired.

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