The Redawnening


    We're back.... sorta.

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    Admin
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    We're back.... sorta.

    Post  Admin on Tue Sep 27, 2016 4:44 am

    I don't have time or inclination to deal with admin stuff on here.  Well, I do have time but like I'm not gonna.  I'll just shut the f-ing site down.

    Among other things, I didn't like the direction things were going in with RB and Pi.  There's something to be said for the existence of the board causing this kind of thing.  Better to just do away with the site than feed mental illness.  

    So everyone just calm the fuck down or I'll pull the nuclear trigger on this whole m'fkr.  Don't think I won't, either.

    (That includes me, BTW.  I *know* I was getting ridiculous on here last month.)

    I hate to do it, because we have such a colorful archive.  It would really be a shame.
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    Admin
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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  Admin on Tue Sep 27, 2016 11:12 am

    Please bear with the reconstruction.  It may take a while, cuz I've got other stuff to do and this a lot more work than it appears.  The admin panel for this site is surprisingly complexicated.  You may log on to see different skins or other tweaks.  (We'll be keeping the version, Invision, because it's still the most advanced one available.) Feedback is more than welcome.

    I think nobody can post during certain steps of construction (like trying new skins) so just hold your comment back on notepad or something for a while and post it later if you get that message.
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    Admin
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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  Admin on Tue Sep 27, 2016 12:10 pm

    Smiley test...

    There I added one! Oh wait, no I didn't. This shit is F-ing difficult. :+

    It shows up in the smiley panel but not in the posts. [img]http://www

    [img]http://www

    Fuck it.

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Tue Sep 27, 2016 11:49 pm

    Yeah, no worries. I'm getting off the site anyway.

    I don't think this benefits my life much.

    You can chat with RB or whoever the way you deem fit.

    You seem to be losing your mind anyway, claiming that God is responding to you and whispering "it's ok to drink" in your ear. And thinking that stopping from cursing is going to help you win the lottery or something. Yeah, good luck with that.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 12:54 am

    Probably wouldn't hurt us all to have a break.

    We have shared a lot, but I am pleased Sciency regularly deletes everything.

    As far as the booze goes, for me, it's like a resentment of something I cannot enjoy anymore.

    I suppose it's like being trapped on a desert island with two girls who have aids and syphilis.

    At first you would do the ugly one with syphilis..

    Or like boxer a who knows he can't really handle anymore punches.

    But cannot stop boxing.
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 12:58 am

    Once a week, once a month.

    It's a shit really.

    When my gf calls me, she instantly knows that I am drinking.

    Then I get pissed with her cause she has caught me.

    Abuse the shit out of her, then I wake up sober a day or two later, with huge regret.

    And basically beg her back.

    But even she is at her limit.

    But she knows what I was like when she met me, drunk every day, now I get caught about once a month.

    It is better.

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:21 am

    Sciency has deleted stuff in the past.... and then re-posts everything later.

    But this time may be different as he found God in the red light district.

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    The Angel of God

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:33 am

    Nothing is deleted.  Once a year I put up the archives.

    We've eight iterations here at SK.  

    Think we should nuke the site? If that's how everyone feels, I'll do it.

    I can also put us on "holiday."
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:37 am

    keep it running

    we have to see your demise, i mean recovery surprise

    so what's your backup plan if you run out of dough?

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:38 am

    get some cash tutoring work
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:39 am

    what I find when I got done was that they weren't interested at all if you are getting paid cash directly from a student, ie privately
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:40 am

    only when a school was involved that they come down hard
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:42 am

    I do envy you for being in Asia, and it was a gutsy move

    just stop drinking for a few weeks and make the most of it

    Asia is far better than boring old West, 100 %

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    The Angel of God

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:47 am

    @RB: I completely know what you mean. The alcohol just kicks my ass now, rather than me kicking any.

    And there's the shame and guilt. The self-hatred. Even now today I'm starting to feel normal again. I'm not hallucinating. And already I'm getting thoughts about my next drink. The enjoyment phase is short-lived and barely remembered... if at all, but the paying for it phase is long lived. In the beginning, it was the other way around.

    Look at you, you're sneaking around trying to hide it from your GF, and still getting caught. Let's both stop. Just no alcohol at all. There are other things in life to enjoy, and which can be enjoyed without the old demon, alcohol. It addicts you and slowly kills you, making you suffer horribly along the way. Everything it gave me in the beginning is just now an illusion I am chasing. I only end up staggering blackout drunk, pretty much every time. Once is a great while, I'll have a couple beers and stop. That doesn't happen often at all, but just enough to let the demon tell me, "See? You've got it under control now." Which, is of course, a blatant lie, but a lie I am desperate to believe, so I believe it. Then the next night I am passed out on the road somewhere. Or as Eggraid prefers, canals. I have also woken up next to a canal, the woods, stairwells, whathaveyou.

    I can spare myself all that by just not drinking. But that's tricky too, because the demon lies in wait for a moment of weakness, then sends out the message at the most opportune time when I can't resist it. I change my mind on a sudden whim and end up with a drink in my hand.

    "Just drink beer."
    "You might meet a girl at the bar."
    "Alternate between liquor and water."
    "Drink slower."
    "Go home at a certain time."

    Blah blah blah blah blah. All lies. It's always the same thing, and that thing is shit.


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    The Angel of God

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:54 am

    RobertBlack wrote:I do envy you for being in Asia, and it was a gutsy move

    just stop drinking for a few weeks and make the most of it

    Asia is far better than boring old West, 100 %


    Yeah, a move I'm now regretting because of the money. I was all set up to go to Japan, plane ticket in hand, and then everything fell through because of my GF. Now, I'm into my third month into this and starting again at square one. Also reading on the net about how hard it is to find ESL jobs in Bangkok recently. They make you wait and jump through a thousand hoops. I moved to the jungleburb for two weeks, and finally did get the job. It was total shit that place, but a job. Then my GF invites me to Japan again, so I accept and buy the ticket with my limitted funds. Then just before the weekend she tells me I can't come. The tickets gets canceled. I'm fucking crushed and go on a bender. And I'm back to square one on my job search again. She doesn't understand how much her delaying me has cost me, in terms of just plain money, forget emotion. I mean she's killed me, maybe. I still have a month to get something figured out, hopefully something includes housing because I can no longer afford startup costs. I'm moving to a supercheap hotel, which according to the reviews is an absolute pit. What other choice do I have? I gotta conserve my money.

    If I don't drink, I can not spend much and still have an interesting experience there. Sober, it will be not only safer, but one I can actually remember.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:57 am

    Don't be hard on yourself.

    That shit's got a lot of power man.

    I learned this from a Wiccan book about smoking. But maybe you can try applying it to drinking. What you can do is take a bottle and say "YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!" and pour the liquor down the sink. Repeat X number of times (sorry, can't remember). Seriously, that was like a Wiccan thing to quit smoking I read once.

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    The Angel of God

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:07 am

    RobertBlack wrote:I do envy you for being in Asia, and it was a gutsy move

    just stop drinking for a few weeks and make the most of it

    Asia is far better than boring old West, 100 %


    You're right.  At least I'm not bored, not staring at pine trees in all directions, shoveling snow, and talking to a cat all day.  

    That is why I came here, but now the money is getting low and I'm freaking out.  I am super qualified, but it doesn't seem to matter.  I send out tons of applications into the aether with nothing coming back.  

    Because of the sudden change of plans before the weekend, I also found myself one day into overstay on my visa.  I was incredibly stressed.  Yesterday I made the journey to get an extension, and managed to do it, so at least I'm not illegal.  I guess one day of overstay is forgivable, because they have millions here on very long overstays.

    It was a long and arduous journey by rail, taxi, then motorbike to get there.  Then I had to go through a pretty nutso three hour bureaucratic process of forms and tickets and interview and more forms and such to get the extension stapled in.  

    I split a taxi back to the metro with another ESL teacher who was between jobs and couldn't find anything.  He was looking too.  This guy had lived here six years and speaks Thai.  

    So I'm applying elsewhere.  Hoping beyond hope my GF will help cover the cost of the ticket once I get the job.  She ought to, she put in this situation.  The only problem is I broke up with her over Skype...  so maybe not getting any money from her.

    I might still have enough on my own to pull it off, if I get job a nearby country that only requires a cheap ticket.

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:18 am

    get a 1 year contract

    they might pay the flight if you tell them your finances are tight

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:21 am

    It's sounds like there are really fuck all jobs.

    Just get a job on the internet somewhere, China, Cambodia, Vietnam, can't be as bad as there, as far as job hunting goes.
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:24 am

    get yourself sober, that is number one

    don't panic

    make some clear decisions

    but seriously go where they need teachers

    forget the booze until you find yourself in a job, with an apartment


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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:26 am

    dude, a mate of mine is a labourer, now he is teaching in beijing,and has his own room

    if he can get a job, on the internet, from the UK, then you can do it easily

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:28 am

    you'll be working back in asia in no time

    I got a job in paris in less than 2 weeks.

    It's all about supply and demand

    I sobered up for a day or so to pull off the interview

    and then I was in

    If I can do it

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:39 am

    Good advice Pi, but I kicked smoking decades ago, it is wwayyyy easier to give up than booze.

    Smoking, eventually gave me zero pleasure, and it made me tired, so it wasn't easy but I kicked it.

    The booze is a whole other monstrous beast.

    I mean I love the feeling of being drunk.

    My dad was a bit of an alchie.

    I am sure it is genetic.

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:44 am

    could be genetic, at least partly.

    Angel of God has some irish blood? Yikes! That might be a tough one. It might take 3 more generations.

    I can genetically modify you if you like, Angel.

    Trust me, I'm a brain surgeon.

    Just FRICKIN' with you, dude.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: We're back.... sorta.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Sep 28, 2016 2:48 am

    The best uni I ever taught at, had a sammy's nearby.

    I was actually drinking a lot.

    But i was also running.

    They had a good track.

    Anyway, I used to play Facebook blackjack, not for money, for rank.

    I got to 7th in the world at one point.

    But when I drank and got 21 and like the dealer got blackjack, I used to go nuts.

    I thought God was having fun, at my expense.

    So i started smashing up all the furniture in my room. I smashed the microwave, the PC screen i jabbed and it just like shattered (really cool pattern) so i KNEW I had to replace that.

    And numerous chairs. I hid the smashed chairs under my bed, then raided the overseas students room sand took their chairs upstairs.

    When I left the boss was really sad to see me go, and he said come back with your wife!

    About 18 months later, I thought it worth a go.

    He was like, who?

    And then there was silence, and he said, no I can't hire you. You smashed up your furniture.

    So embarrassing.

    I tried to play it off as a leaving party that had gone wrong, but he didn't buy it.

    And there were all these blackmarks on the walls where i used to throw my shoes at the walls.

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