The Redawnening


    Free Girlfriend Give-Away!

    Share
    avatar
    The Angel of God

    Posts : 2047
    Join date : 2016-09-27

    Re: Free Girlfriend Give-Away!

    Post  The Angel of God on Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:41 am

    RobertBlack wrote:

    If Poop can stay away from the forum for a month I can stop drinking for a month.

    tongue

    Bad news is that he's never lasted more than a week.  This forum is his alcoholism.

    I'm determined to plug this money leak.  In theory, I can drink Thai spirits in the room and not spend all that much, but frequently I end up going out.  

    When I started on this journey I remember I was alone in Beijing.  I'd go to the bar and have 3 drinks and feel tipsy then go home.  I had the same beer in my fridge for over three months.

    Eventually it turned into liquor straight of the bottle(s).  Alas, there's no going back.  Back then I was more interested in the people and the music than the drinks.  Now I'll even lose interest in a chick if we start in to the sauce.  I was horn-dogging the other night though man.  Probably cuz I switched to beer after bottle of spirits so was still with it enough to do so.  Can't count on that strategy on though.  Can't count on any strategy with drinking.  The best laid plans get waylaid the moment my alter-ego John Barleycorn gets activated.   drunken


    _________________
    Lock the door.
    Throw away the key.
    There's someone in my head
    but it's not me.
    avatar
    RobertBlack

    Posts : 2831
    Join date : 2016-07-30

    Re: Free Girlfriend Give-Away!

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Dec 23, 2016 7:43 pm

    Well, I was right 3rd day off the booze, hydrating, and eating well, and I still feel like shit.

    I day to go.

    4 days drinking, 4 days to recover.
    avatar
    RobertBlack

    Posts : 2831
    Join date : 2016-07-30

    Re: Free Girlfriend Give-Away!

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Dec 23, 2016 7:46 pm

    The Angel of God wrote:
    RobertBlack wrote:

    If Poop can stay away from the forum for a month I can stop drinking for a month.

    tongue

    Bad news is that he's never lasted more than a week.  This forum is his alcoholism.

    I'm determined to plug this money leak.  In theory, I can drink Thai spirits in the room and not spend all that much, but frequently I end up going out.  

    When I started on this journey I remember I was alone in Beijing.  I'd go to the bar and have 3 drinks and feel tipsy then go home.  I had the same beer in my fridge for over three months.

    Eventually it turned into liquor straight of the bottle(s).  Alas, there's no going back.  Back then I was more interested in the people and the music than the drinks.  Now I'll even lose interest in a chick if we start in to the sauce.  I was horn-dogging the other night though man.  Probably cuz I switched to beer after bottle of spirits so was still with it enough to do so.  Can't count on that strategy on though.  Can't count on any strategy with drinking.  The best laid plans get waylaid the moment my alter-ego John Barleycorn gets activated.   drunken

    Oh yeah, I remember those days, in fact I started off on drunken killer binges at uni and then through exerise and meditation i got to that stage where even one beer or one glass of wine was OK and there was no compulsion to have more.

    But over time, that slowly went, started with having to finish a six pack, and then it got to the stage now, 2 bottles of wine and scotch, or a whole bottle of scotch a night.

    I wasn't too bad on Label 5 in Paris, for some reason. Not too unheathy.

    In UK, I get really gooey sticky eyes for days, cause I also do skunk. But that kind of gets offset by behaving myself more and not being such a cunt. Weed definitely makes me nicer, when on the booze.

    3rd day off today, and I really felt sick when I thought of scotch. The smell and taste, yuck, I don't even want a beer. Zero desire. The problem is over time, that changes and then it becomes a compulsion again.
    avatar
    The Angel of God

    Posts : 2047
    Join date : 2016-09-27

    Re: Free Girlfriend Give-Away!

    Post  The Angel of God on Mon Dec 26, 2016 11:03 pm

    Yeah, there's no going back to moderation for an alky.  I mean, I might be able to moderate myself once, but then I use that convince myself I can drink normally, which I don't.  Maybe once in 50 times I manage to moderate myself, the other 49 are binges.

    In AA they call alcohol The Rapacious Creditor.  The biggest problem is that it does work.  My mind is filled with stress and torment and the alcohol takes it away temporarily, which is still break.

    But then I spend a ton of money and say all kinds of dumb shit and God knows what else cuz pretty consistently blacking out.  I used to have problem drinking too much before I picked up the addiction.  I'd go out a few times a year and get drunk, like that.  No going back though.  The only strategy that solves the problem is not drinking.

    I must talked to a hundred people this weekend, out at bars.  So much shit-talking and inappropriate speech.  I want it out of my life, but I feel like I'm losing my best friend.  Well friends don't poison you slowly to death.  I go on about respecting human life and not causing harm to others, but harming myself is every bit as egregious an evil.  

    I never understood it, alcoholism.  I'd just say "well don't drink so much, or just stop drinking."  But you've got it, you see how nothing about it is that simple.  It's an affliction of the body, mind, and spirit.  And it's always there, waiting for that next opportunity to drink, ready to pounce on it.


    _________________
    Lock the door.
    Throw away the key.
    There's someone in my head
    but it's not me.
    avatar
    The Angel of God

    Posts : 2047
    Join date : 2016-09-27

    Re: Free Girlfriend Give-Away!

    Post  The Angel of God on Mon Dec 26, 2016 11:11 pm

    In AA they tell you to pray.  Well, I've been doing that and it hasn't put a dent in my drinking habits.

    I'm trying to be a good Christian, but how can I do that if I drink?  My behaviour and language is awful when I drink. All it makes me is a really, really bad Christian.  I need to do better.  I need to stop the drinking.  All the recovery and depression and torment that come after a binge are not worth it.  I'm doing surprsingly well, considering.  Considering I was drinking a Long Island at a bar at five in the morning on Saturday (after drinking friday night)... and just kept going all day and night all weekend.

    Sooo fkn stupid.  I'm just killing myself is all I'm doing.


    _________________
    Lock the door.
    Throw away the key.
    There's someone in my head
    but it's not me.
    avatar
    RobertBlack

    Posts : 2831
    Join date : 2016-07-30

    Re: Free Girlfriend Give-Away!

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Dec 28, 2016 6:09 pm

    I tell you what, through enforced abstinence, and meditation I am back on the writing track.

    Writing every day now.

    This will be a two week break.

    Morrocan woman sent me a friendly sm. Will see her in a few weeks, well, will be staying in the same hotel as her.

    Should be fun.

    How's it going with the giveaway?

    Any takers?

    Sponsored content

    Re: Free Girlfriend Give-Away!

    Post  Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Thu Mar 30, 2017 8:42 am