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    Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:55 pm

    Oh right, yeah, they are like that.

    He's probably from Glasgow.

    I had a great night last night, relatively, Skyped my Aussie mate.

    Want to get back on it now, but have to fucking wait to sign off with the chick.

    Torture.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:52 pm

    Don't forget to keep your podcasts going.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:01 am

    Ahhh, nice chilled wine.

    Wish I had some fresh oysters.


    eggraid

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  eggraid on Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:21 pm

    Im off all alcohol, not even a beer for saturday evening.
    It's all brazilian jiujutsu now. Im gonna train 3 days a week, then weight-lifting 2 days a week.

    We have fernando yamasaki as a guest trainer now too, which is kind of cool.

    Sciency is doing a non-stop binge until he gets some scottish male sex, then he's going to quit drinking because he found love
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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:58 pm

    They have Thai kick boxing gyms here. Would be money better spent than alcohol, as would be just about anything. After two nights of my typical blackout liquor blitzes I found myself only drink beer on the third and lucid all the way through it. It was an alien experience for me.

    But beer is shit too. I slept two hours and woke up in the morn, went to the store and saw Crazy Chick. Then I hung out with her all day, drinking beer still.

    I'm rested now with no alcohol in my system. Gonna try to keep it that way.

    I like hanging with my bros, but they also want to drink, so I don't know. I might stop by and chat with them for like an hour or something, but no beers and no bars -if I can help it.


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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:36 pm

    I watched 8 hours of surfing yesterday.

    Today I will do the same.

    Pizza and cheeseburgers, and coffee in between.

    Maybe some writing.

    It's a tough life.

    tongue
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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:38 pm

    I'm doing coffee today. Gonna focus entirely on work. I am NOT going out into that fkn zoo outside again if I can help myself.

    Just saw my bro, who is also coming off a 4-day bender. He was regretting it too and bemoaning the curse of alcohol.

    Reading and watching videos in my room is boring as hell sometimes, but it beats the alternative. As soon as you go outside here it's alcohol-land. If I can learn how to stay sober in this environment, I will be able to do it anywhere.





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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Sat Mar 18, 2017 6:53 pm

    Dude, you should get some Fentanyl

    100 times stronger than morphine

    Shocked
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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:35 pm

    Yeah, I've heard about it. Like heroine wasn't bad enough of a scourge.

    I might take the valium back up if I can find it on the cheap. I stopped buying it cuz I found out the locals only pay 200 yet all the pharmacies around here want to charge me 500 and won't barter down. I bought it 300 once, which I could live with, but not around here.

    It must be very popular because when you ask for it the pharmacist either tells you to go away or pulls twenty tablet packs rubberbanded together directly out her pocket.

    Screw the opiods. Too many horror stories.


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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 12:58 am

    Countdown to Sciency's next remorseful stage.

    I have a feeling this one is going to be good.

    Twisted Evil

    eggraid

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  eggraid on Wed Mar 22, 2017 5:13 am

    Yes, and he will vow on picking up writing again, train thai boxing, read the bible and never ever be a homosexual.
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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 5:59 am

    Do you just like to hear yourself talk or what?

    How do you not see how your country is the grande capital of all delusion in the world. Even Pi.... even this canuck fucker, can't hold a single candle to the utter bullshit that is Sweden.


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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 11:56 am

    OMG four days just blurred by. I got up to all kinds of stuff too.

    Completely fucking insane my life. Just chaos. I almost can't take it anymore.

    I want to stay in Thailand but this shit is just ridiculous. Maybe somebody back in the States will take me in. I can't keep doing like this. I can't describe how insane it all is.

    I'm failing to keep up at this point. I just want to sleep for like a week straight.


    I better start handling shit. I completely lost it there for like three days. Like my mind just snapped.





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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  eggraid on Wed Mar 22, 2017 1:45 pm

    Date when pathetic remorseful stage sets in:

    RB gussed 18th of march
    Eggraidcgussed 22nd of march

    RB, you can send me a bottle of scotch by mail as i won this round Wink
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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 2:02 pm

    I'm soooo m'fkn stressed. This Thai girl stole my internet router, so I had to cancel my work. I didn't have enough money to fix the issue so I went on a three day bender. Now everything is up in the air with work. I did request leave the moment I realized the router was missing, but they're giving me all kinds of mixed messages.

    And the hotel staff is angry at me. Apparently I passed out near the bar and when they tried to get me back to my room I got nasty with them, so she called the cops to bring me to my room. I apologized and everything, but really it's so ridiculous. At least I wasn't arrested. Well I see people passed out in this alley all the time. It's not so unusual. Of course I remember none of it.

    I'm trying to unfuck everything but it's all just so fucked. I'm wrecked phsyically, mentally, spiritually, what have you.

    This room is chaos. It just cannot ever get clean or organized. And it gets filthy when I'm drinking in here. I wake up to just found filth all over everything. I don't even know what guests I had up in here.

    It was nice of the cops to let me off. The moment I realized the router was missing I just totally snapped. What kind of bitch comes into your room and steals your router? That's just so fkn shitty.

    What I have to do is follow a couple rules, namely no alcohol or guests.

    Fucking fuck. That means I have to travel into downtown tomorrow. Then on Friday I have to travel really far to the gov office for visa extension. Doing anything in this city is completely exhausting.

    This visa cycle is annoying. And now I've got these friends but they always want to drink. The difference between me and them though is that I get blackout wasted every time. I have to stop somehow. I'm completely out of control.

    Three days of bars, liquor, girls, bros, and cops. And I can't remember any of it. I sobered up this morning and found I had a substantial beard going. Really, I came to thinking it was Monday but it's Wednesday.

    I keep writing and writing on here and emails. It's all I can do in this state is sit here and write. I need to rest up. How can 3 days pass with no memory? Poof, gone. All I have to go on is my slime trail online and the staff here. Later I'm sure my bro will update me on all my shennigans.

    However things go with work, I'm gonna get shit figured out. My contract is ending so if they don't want to renew I'll go with another company I guess. They're mad about the router and other IT issues I've had, but really I'm high volume teacher for them and I don't bitch about all their BS. For the work I do the pay really is not good. Or maybe I can get a job locally. I'm already thinking about how I'm gonna pay for the visa run a month from now. I might have barely enough to squeeze by another six weeks, maybe even afford the run if I'm careful. But like now I have to buy a router and I'll have to pay the extension fee to the government, which is like 2000 baht. Plus I should get salary next month for this. So I'm ok, sorta. Frankly I needed a break from the job anyway. If I do stay on I'm gonna start scheduling days, two a week. Seven days a week at it is just relentless.









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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 2:44 pm

    eggraid wrote:Date when pathetic remorseful stage sets in:

    RB gussed 18th of march
    Eggraidcgussed 22nd of march

    RB, you can send me a bottle of scotch by mail as i won this round Wink

    Oh I'm so glad this is such a fun game to you. Rolling Eyes

    I really want to break this cycle. It's like I'm incapable of learning. No matter how hard I try not to drink I eventually wind up with a bottle in my hand. If f-ing awful.

    I should just live alone in the woods or something.

    Or if I could meet just one nice girl. I'm ready for a relationship but all I get is bullshit.

    And I'm getting divorced. It's ugly as hell. I keep reporting her to ICE while she is bringing a divorce against me in the US. That's when I started drinking is when she left. Prior to that I only drank a few times a year.

    I mean I haven't seen my "wife" for over a decade now. What kind of fkn bullshit is that?

    She's a selfish, cold bitch anyway. I'm better off without her. She never stopped bitching when we were together. She insulting, rude and highly demanding. And the more I compromised the worse she got. Bitch never had anything nice to say.

    Now she's complaining that this ICE business is a dark cloud hanging over her. I could care less. She comitted a fkn crime and I'm the victim of it. Despondent and alone in Beijing, I picked up the bottle and was sent down a very dark path.

    Yeah I know, I know... take responsibility for your choices, but I didn't make those choices. When people marry they become dependent on that marriage, invested. That bitch just didn't give a shit. She's still childless and that's for the best. She hates children. We even had a cat and she could not love it at all. When it went missing she didn't even care.

    I could barely enjoy sex with her. She'd become submissive only long enough for the sex and immediately when we finished she'd demand I clean up and start ordering me around. Get me this, do that. She's always unpleasant.

    I remember one time were in Shanghai walking down Nanjing Liu. And I told her to stop saying negative things all the time. She got offended and said she didn't do that. So I started counting. Even with me counting she couldn't open her mouth and not say some miserable shit. I think I got to 62. That's 62 negative comments and not one nice one. I'd even ask her to please just say one nice thing, and she couldn't do it.

    She was not helpful to me at all with anything in China.

    I've tried to reconcile with her over the years but she has zero interest. One she got that golden ticket, that was it. So fucking shitty.

    Then I haven't been able to find a stable relationship since. Well I had another highly shitty GF, but after her I could not meet a women who didn't have to leave China for one reason or another within weeks of starting to date. Again and again this happened. I guess there are few who I mistreated in the womanizing phase, ones who were really nice girls and I should have stuck with. But that's the other thing. I'm married. So I couldn't marry my GF in Phil. And very rich GF, she wanted to get married but we had this problem.

    I can "own up" and blame myself for my alcoholism all day. But when I think about it objectively, it's not really entirely my fault. It's my problem, sure, but not necessarily my fault.

    I wasn't making decisions after she left. My mind just snapped and I was thrust down that dark path. I really couldn't help it. Like the drinking, it's autopilot. I've been unable to stop myself from walking to a bar or liquor store. I'm even yelling in my mind at my feet to stop walking there, but it's to no avail. My life circumstances are just too chaotic and unstable. The drinking of course exacerbates that, but it didn't start with the drinking. The drinking is more of a result than a cause in my case.

    I have to beat it this time. I absolutely must. I've got the cops dragging me to my room. I'm passing out outside, bringing shady women to my room and they steal from me.

    I quit for six months once in Beijing. Here is harder though because everywhere you go alcohol is being served. This is like the drinkiest place on Earth.

    I've been failing at this struggle since she left. My GF after that was a total lush herself and we drank all through our relationship.

    Fuck. I'm just writing endlessly. I need to wash clothes.



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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 3:44 pm

    And you are fucking a retard.

    So you lost your job?

    And Eggraid, yes, well predicted.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 3:45 pm

    I told you it would be a good pathetic remorseful period this time.

    Sciency is having his period.

    Razz
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 3:54 pm

    Dude next time the cops come probably they will put you in jail.

    That will be a great chance to write about it.

    YOU SHOULD READ Welcome to hell: one man's fight for life inside the Bangkok Hilton

    The book isn't written that well and the guy made like 100 k or something out of it.
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:10 pm

    What a pity the solo Mum and kid were not there to witness your wonderful life.

    At least it would teach the kid what loser foreigner not to date in the future.



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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:18 pm

    Well it's looking like I might still have my job. That's good. I missed classes because my router was stolen and one lady at the company was really mad and saying I was fired, but apparently other people still want to keep me on.

    So the minute I realized my classes were botched, I thought I was automatically fired.. but I wasn't.

    They just went way overboard threatening me to the point where I thought that was it. She said one more IT problem and I was toast, and I had a major IT problem. I immediately requested leave so they could reschedule all my classes. It was just beyond my control.

    Well it could be argued I shouldn't have drank and brought a thieving bitch into my room.

    So I thought I was fired so I went off drinking for three days. Now I have the money to buy another router.

    The drinking stops now. I'm basically getting a second chance with the job. I've always been good about separating work and play, but here they are clearly blending into each other. That starting happened my last year in Beijing too. After more than ten years of always being prepped and on-time, I started slipping. The alcohol started to soak into my job.

    Not drinking will save me a shitload money too. It goes fast here when you're out drinking.

    I could use that money to eat better food. Also if I'm sober it's far less likely somebody will rob me.

    And the hotel and police also gave me a second chance today. They could have booted me out of here or arrested me.

    My behaviour is too ridiculous, I get that. There is nothing acceptable about the way I behave. Plus I'm scared cuz they told me I was getting mean and angry, not my usual drunken self (unless I'm on a forum.)

    I've been hurt bad in drunken fights before. But I'm worried now I will hurt someone else.

    A few times people have told me I've gotten loud and aggressive, cursing at them and such. That's too fucked up. Usually I nice and humorous but I'm slipping out of control. Well, I'm already completely out of control, but I hate that I turn nasty in RL.

    I need to quit not just for myself but for everyone else's sake too.

    I get amnesia about it all and think I can drink again. My addiction just lays in waiting for the moment to strike. My head fills with all the same old, debunked lies. They only have to work for a minute in order to get that bottle into my hand.

    I'm traumatized by own life and it's made me insane. Liquor is the only thing that gives my mind any respite. Well there's reading and writing, I suppose. I'm an insane person trying to find my way back to sanity but it eludes me. The drinking is truly insane, but even on a sober streak I'm still crazy.

    My life is too crazy and my mind is cracked over it. There's really no going back, because I don't believe all my crazy thinking is wrong. I think most of it is right. I can't just unlearn it and get back on the same plane as most everyone else. I'm stuck with it.

    I need to channel it better, do my writing, go for walks, do healthy things.

    Be nice to people. I'm not really mean but I have gotten self-centered and I'm very aloof and oblivious socially. That makes it hard to establish any personal connections with other people. And it just gets worse as the years tick by. It's really a problem. Even people who care about me and try to help me, when they actually get me to talk about it all they can't cope with it. They love me but they can't see my problem because they can't bear to look inside my head.

    I have a very strange life.

    It can only get better by putting down that bottle... for good. I'll never be able to drink normally again. That's been proven a thousand times over.

    I thought it had all come crashing down this week, but I'm getting another chance. I could be unemployed and in jail right now. But I'm not. I'm fucking LUCKY I'm not dead or worse after all the insane drinking I've done. I'm still making it here doing what I'm doing. It's been eight months now.
    I'm still hanging on by a thread. Nobody wants me back in the US. And it was my dream to come live here. I need to get better at it. I'm in this cycle of working and drinking.

    I should try to talk to more locals, learn some Thai. Get my shit organized. This room is pure chaos. There's no way to de-chaosify either. That girl "cleaned" in here and now it's more disorganized than ever. Plus I tore it apart searching for that router.

    I need to get all my shit cleaned up and organized. That will help a lot. I don't own much, but what little I do can't stay put in my chaos room.

    In Beijing I kept my apartments pretty nice usually. But there's something about this room. Maybe it's because over half the room is taken up by the bed. It's difficult to just get from one side to the other. The freakin' bed is gigantic, like bigger than a king size..

    And like I'll decide to clean but it's chaotic I can't get started. I'll end up just running a wet matt over the floor and calling it good. And it never gets clean, the floor. I wash it every day and it's always filthy.

    I keep writing like a maniac and have so much shit I need to handle. I'm gonna be running around Bangkok for the next two days and working. I'm useless to do anything more today. I can't even cope with going outside. The hotel owner gave me a lecture. She was nice about it actually. I wouldn't blame her for being totally pissed at me. I told her my life is a mess and I apologized and promised not to let it happen again.

    All that shit happens and I have no memory of it. It's frightening to think about what I could do. I could really hurt someone. Cuz I'm completely out of my mind at that stage, no rationality, no judgement. And now people tell me I'm getting belligerent. It's one thing to do that on a forum, it's something else to do that in RL. I owe it to society to give up drinking, and I owe it to myself.


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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:25 pm

    RobertBlack wrote:What a pity the solo Mum and kid were not there to witness your wonderful life.

    At least it would teach the kid what loser foreigner not to date in the future.




    That woman stood me up. Then she came two weeks later on email saying all this stuff, saying she loved me, etc. Then she stopped replying to our correspondence.

    I'm chalking her up as a lost cause.

    I wish her luck and all that, but I can't be dealing with endless bullshit out of her.

    I'm not putting any more energy into looking for a GF here. It's caused me way more harm than good.

    You call me a loser, but I'm doing it here. Rough as it may be.

    When the right girl comes along, I'll go with it. I do want to settle here and a relationship is key to that. But it's got to be the right one. So many women here are just full of shit.



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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:27 pm

    A lot of words, very few actions.

    Rolling Eyes
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:28 pm

    You are in such a predictable cycle, you will be crowing like a rooster, drunk, in a few days.

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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:40 pm

    I am in a cycle with the drinking, a vicious one.

    The difference between me and you guys is that I actually don't wish ill for you.

    If you were on here talking about trying to quit a vicious habit, I would hope for your success at it.

    Your right. I'm words and no action today. I need to write on the forum when I'm like this.

    You don't have to read every word, obviously.

    I am going to do it this time. It's tricky because I want down the alley and see my bros all drinking beer and I walk by bars and the liquor is staring at me every time I go to the store.

    But if I can do here, it also means I can do it anywhere.

    I'm doing it, whether you like it or not. Two weeks, three weeks from now I will not have touched a drop.

    I was yelling curses at a woman who was trying to help me yesterday. That's so shitty. I can't live with myself doing stuff like that. I have a responsibility to quit.


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