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    Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:53 pm

    No Sciency, it's not the booze, it's you.

    You will never get it, as you always need somethung else to blame.

    Sorry to say, you are destined to drink yourself to jail/homelessness/death.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:53 pm

    Try blaming yourself for once in your life.

    It will be the only thing that saves you, and gets you any sympathy here, which you obviously want.

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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 5:09 pm

    I know all about blame, getting blamed, and blaming the shit out of myself. It doesn't help. And objectively looking at it, it's not true to say all the blame belongs to me. I'm like a blame magnet for heaven's sake. I'm sick of it. People play the blame game.

    In fact I don't hurt anyone aside from myself.

    You would want to see me drinking myself to death? That's quite a cunty thing to wish on another person. Shame-blame on you! Shocked

    You don't have to read any of words if you think I'm being whiny. It's therapuetic for me at a time like this to write here. As everyone else is welcome to do also.

    Blaming doesn't make sense. If bring a girl to my room and she steals from me, is that my fault for bringing her here? Sure. But that doesn't mean she's not a thief. It doesn't exonerate her in any way, me being a dumbass. But people love to play "blame the victim" in order to get their cunty kicks I guess.

    You also want to say it's not the alcohol but it's me. I'd say it's me and the alcohol combined. I don't get it? You've struggled with alcoholism and we've run through all the alcohol circular go-nowhere logic a thousand times on here.

    Again, I'm hoping you do better with it, while you want to see me die from it.






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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 5:34 pm

    No. I was blaming my wife. My wife who left me high and dry and flapping in the breeze the moment she got her fkn green card. People are dependent on each other in a marriage. What she did is also a felony crime. So ten years on I haven't seen her. My life can go nowhere with this dark cloud hanging over it. So yes, she gets blame. She deserves blame.

    And started drinking and got addicted to it. My fault, sure. But also hers.

    Now the addiction follows me. Is it my problem? Yes it's totally my problem, but at the same time as it being my fault I am also a victim of it. I'm not drinking out of choice, I'm drinking out of an insane addiction that I can't seem to break no matter the approach.

    I didn't lose everything from drinking. I started drinking as a result of twice losing everything. And then I lost it again... and again... Carts and horses. It's how my story differs significantly from everyone else I listen to in AA, who always blame themselves, even when they shouldn't. They talk about all the people they hurt, but I didn't hurt anyone besides myself. The fact that I'm turning belligerent now is more of a wake-call for me than anything else.

    These benders. I just walk to the store for water and buy liquor at the counter. I didn't really make a "choice." I am not drinking by choice. I am drinking from overwhelming compulsion to do. Often I don't even remember picking up, then the days fly by a blurry dream. I am not in any sort of control over myself. I'm absolutely insane.

    Anyway, being belligerent is not cool at all. Getting myself all fucked up is one thing, but the idea I would hurt someone else is too much. I've always been good that way. (except on forums Razz ) I'm truly frightened by it and I'm hoping this lesson sticks with me.

    I mean if I'm yelling curses at a woman who is trying to help me, what else might I do? She picked me up off the ground to help me and I yelled curses at her. I can't live with that kind of thing. And it's makes no sense. There couldn't been rational nueron lighting off in my entire brain at that time. I need to quit drinking before I do something truly evil.

    And I'm going to succeed. I may be 100 different kinds of FUBAR, but one thing I am not is evil and I will not let myself become so.



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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:06 pm

    I've been alone through my drinking career, so it never really affected other people all that much. It's annoyed quite a few, I'm sure. Now I feel like I have a responsibility not just to myself but the world around me not to drink. I feel horrible about yelling at that woman, so guilty. She was understanding at least. I just can't be doing shit like that. My bro's will probably tell me to stick to beer or whatever, but I know myself. Every justification to drink is a lie my addiction is feeding me.

    Those guys can drink more or less normally. I can't. That ship has sailed.

    Actually looking back to my younger days I did drink sometimes though not frequently and I would usually end up in a blackout. So even before it became a regular habit, I still had this issue of overconsuming it.

    Anyway, I wouldn't wish this shit on anyone. It really sucks.

    Like even my bro's who know better than to swill liquor like I am are still overdoing it with the beers. And I know it's only going to get worse for them. I just have an extreme habit of mass consumption, but plenty of people are addicted on a lesser level and it's still a problem. Some people hide it better. And some people can actually remain long-term social drinkers.

    It's not that the alcoholic is weak-willed necessarily. It's more like some problem in the brain's programming that some of us have wired in.

    I'm ever more convinced that caring more about others and world is the way forward. I'm so used to just taking care of myself and I'm too selfish as a result. When I care about something outside myself I see why I must not drink.

    It's irresponsible. Nobody should have to see me laying dead drunk on the street or listening to me spew out nasty profanity. There's no middle ground. I'm a person who just cannot drink. It doesn't bring me anything more than a short respite now anyway, and things always go straight downhill with it.

    It's stupid. It's dangerous. It's expensive. It's unhealthy.

    There's just nothing good about it for me anymore. Yet I keep doing it. I'm stopping for real this time. I have to do this. I still have a shot at life here and alcohol is giving up on it.

    This time I'm not going to forget all the awfulness. I'm not letting those lies trick me into drinking. I'm a very honest person except when it comes to me getting alcohol, then I lie like a sieve to myself. Dumb, debunked lies. Stick to beer. Just have a little. Blah blah blah. I have only drank once where I did not pass out or somesuchshit. Once I managed to stick to beer, even then I drank too many.

    Wow. I've never done so much writing, mostly going in circles with the same topic. This time the circle is getting broken. I'm breaking this habit. I don't care if I need to post 6000 words a day on it.


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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:18 pm

    Your problem is that you were brought up a Christian. And you are still a slave to that. Firstly, you believe that you can do shit, then simply repent, confess all your sins, and you will be ready to go again, absolved of all your sins. Secondly, it can be seen with your deluded loyalty to marriage. You would think after two failures, you would possibly begin to doubt the idea. But no, it’s batter up, third time lucky. Lawyers do not judge divorcees too much, unless they separated when they had a small child, whose lives are inevitably fucked up. I am not a Christian. I meditate. When you meditate, the buck stops at you, internally, no excuses, no one to confess to except yourself. You, on the other hand, are fucked. It is just a question of how low you can go, a question of when, not if.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:19 pm

    The Buddhists say alcohol is of no matter by itself, but it can make men do unreasonable acts, so then they should stop.
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:41 pm

    You blame your shit on your wives, so it follows that if you had not married, your life would be fine. But still you want to run like a rat to the church or registry office, with the first Thai girl you meet. Don’t you see how deluded you are? No don’t answer that.

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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:39 pm

    I entered into a marriage.  She dumped it for a green card, throwing my life severely off course.  She did that.  There's way to justify it.  It was just flat out criminal and yes she bares blame.

    I'm not looking to marry the first Thai I meet.  I want to meet the right woman.  How is that delusional?

    I've had a decade of an absentee wife.  Once this divorce is over I want to remarry.  I'm meant to be married but I got completely fucked over.  Yes, I do blame her for that.  Why shouldn't I?  The conniving bitch went straight for the green card and dumped her marriage the moment she got it.

    It's a crime and devastating one.  If you go outside on the street and somebody shoots you should people say "Hey, well you chose to go outside," or "Own up to it blame yourself not someone else... like whoever shot you?"  No.  That's ridiculous logic, completely.

    What the hell is wrong with wanting to get married?  It's a very normal state for people to be in.  

    Every girl I tried to get serious with in Beijing had to leave China for one reason or another after I met them.  Again and again and again.  Then in the US was my fake GF who strung me along for two years but never meant to follow through on any of it.  She even let me buy a plane ticket just to keep fantasy going.  My Filipina GF I was madly in love with.  She strung me along for a year with lies.

    That's my whole life is waiting some bitches lies.  I do feel bad for myself because it fucking sucks.  In a relationship you need to step forward with trust.  I haven't had much luck in that department.  Everything always goes FUBAR, shit beyond my control.

    There are good women out there who probably lie but not to those depths like every one I find.  It's the just shittiest most pointless lying.  Yeah, I'm traumatized by all of it.  It's too much and it just goes on and on and on.  I will fkn complain about it.  Like I said if it bugs you that much you don't have to read any of this.  I know I don't read shit I don't want to read.

    Getting married is definitely the way to go in this country.  It's not the best place to be single, not like Beijing.  OMG Beijing.  Plus I'm getting on in years and I want to have someone, a house, a wife.  There's nothing wrong with that.  It makes sense.  And no I won't marry any girl.  I'm not marrying that liar who keeps feeding me bullshit for example.  I need to have the right connection and the relationship needs time to form.  Your talking like I want the visa, which is wrong.  I want a wife.  I can handle the visa just like I am already.


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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:57 pm

    And as far as your "bros" goes, your poosy, that just equates to other males who have slipped as far as you down, and so will bear your company.

    I imagine soon, they will include homeless people, and then you will be raving how great being homeless is in Bangcock.

    By the way, I can guarantee you if you check one of your bro's rooms, he will have a nice internet router.

    Trusting drunken expat losers in Bangcock, yeah they're the ones you can trust.

    Rolling Eyes

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:20 pm

    And no-one here said they wished you bad times.

    We just said it is interesting watching you sink. Vomiting on a podcast and so on.

    By alleging that, you are of course trying again pathetically to get some sympathy.

    Everyone is wishing me bad, oh diddums.

    Man up, stop wallowing in the self-pity game.

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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:46 pm

    Hey, I'm posting actual content.  You're trailing me with nasty spins and insults.

    You really think you can't trust a single "expat loser" in Thailand, just paint them all with the same brush, huh?

    They are really a nice, trustworthy bunch.  I'm also a trustworthy person when I'm sober.  There are all kinds of fantastic people here.  And people doing remarkable things.  Bangkok is not some thirdworld shithole.  It's a modern functioning metropolis with a well educated population.

    You should see some of these shopping centers, just mind-blowingly huge, stocked top to bottom with high end wares.  

    Of all these SE Asian countries there's a reason Thailand is the one most everyone flocks to.

    And the sheer hypocrisy you using the term "expat loser" is hilarious.  You wrote the book on being an expat loser, remember?


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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:53 pm

    Fictional book.

    It's funny timing, you are about to be fired and I am about to do the training session.

    Quite looking forward to it actually.

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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:55 pm

    BTW: Who exactly am I trying to get sympathy from around here?

    You're an alky yourself and you take joy in predicted my death from it to get your sleazy kicks.

    And you rail about "expat losers."

    Give us a f-ing break. And hey, here's another idea, instead of slime trailing me post your own content to talk about.



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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:00 pm

    RobertBlack wrote:Fictional book.

    It's funny timing, you are about to be fired and I am about to do the training session.

    Quite looking forward to it actually.


    I am not being fired. In fact I am signing a new employment contract. I have quite a lot of students with them.

    Losing the router sucked and the girl made me think I was fired for it but I ain't.

    That and I was just suffering burnout from all the teaching hours. It can be really stressful.





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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:30 pm

    it's amusing to see your metamorphasis, your coming back bro, justifying yourslef again, making excues, drinking in two days.

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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Angel of God on Wed Mar 22, 2017 10:06 pm

    The drinking is not justified, it's never a smart move. Yeah, I lie to myself to get it. I become delusional in that regard.

    There's no way to justify my behavior though. It's absolutely unacceptable to do what I did yelling profanities at that lady.

    Knowing I did that will do more to remind me not to drink than all the shit I do to myself with it.

    I'll remember that before I get cocky and think to pick up next time, and I won't pick up. Doing wrong to other people is a big thing for me.

    I'm tired of picking up the pieces afterward. One to the next, recover and drink again.

    I have no idea what I'll do or say, and apparently I'm getting nasty sometimes. F-that. I am not going down that road. And bars with everyone else drinking too you never know what kind of fuckedupedness is gonna go down.

    I'm truly sick of it, all of it, everything related to alcohol.



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    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Mar 23, 2017 1:02 am

    Sciency,

    Why do you keep talking to RB?

    He's the biggest asshole on the planet.

    All he does is have ill will towards everyone and derives pleasure from people's problems.




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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Mar 23, 2017 1:07 am

    >> No. I was blaming my wife. My wife who left me high and dry and flapping in the breeze the moment she got her fkn green card. People are dependent on each other in a marriage. What she did is also a felony crime. So ten years on I haven't seen her. My life can go nowhere with this dark cloud hanging over it. So yes, she gets blame. She deserves blame.


    Yes, but you need to learn to let go of people who fucked you over. After all, 10 years is a long time ago. You should have put it behind you and moved on from it a long time ago. And if other girls fucked you over since, well you need to be careful who you get involved with and you need to learn to judge people's characters better.

    Having said that, the dating scene in China is rather hairy. Most of the girls there are looking to be transported abroad. I don't know about Thailand. But the odds in China are against you that you'll find someone without ulterior motives.

    But who hasn't been fucked over? You need to be resilient and roll with the punches.







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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Thu Mar 23, 2017 1:17 am

    At least I am not a Canadian living in a dumpster

    Razz

    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Mar 23, 2017 1:18 am

    So, RB what are you trying to say exactly?

    You want Sciency to take full responsibility for his drinking.

    But at the same time, you wouldn't lose any sleep if he ended up in jail or unemployed.

    In fact, it would make you feel better about yourself to see someone who is in a worse circumstance than you, right?

    You're a fucking cockroach.


    The Great Splendini

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  The Great Splendini on Thu Mar 23, 2017 1:21 am

    RobertBlack wrote:At least I am not a Canadian living in a dumpster

    Razz

    So if you see someone who is homeless, it makes you feel good right?

    So you don't feel so bad about yourself for being a failed writer who has to go around PRETENDING to be famous?

    I feel more sorry for you than the guy living in the dumpster.

    You're a fucking low-life loser cockroach.

    And if Sciency has half a brain, he'll just delete you from the forum.

    As you, sick twisted fuck that you are, are on his forum to cheer on his misfortune.

    Dumb ape.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:01 am

    Bad day at the soup kitchen?

    Mad Laughing Razz
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:20 am

    Sciency is Cum Dumpster's precious:


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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Predicting Sciency’s next binge.

    Post  RobertBlack on Thu Mar 23, 2017 2:24 am

    The Great Splendini wrote:
    RobertBlack wrote:At least I am not a Canadian living in a dumpster

    Razz

    So if you see someone who is homeless, it makes you feel good right?

    So you don't feel so bad about yourself for being a failed writer who has to go around PRETENDING to be famous?

    I feel more sorry for you than the guy living in the dumpster.

    You're a fucking low-life loser cockroach.

    And if Sciency has half a brain, he'll just delete you from the forum.

    As you, sick twisted fuck that you are, are on his forum to cheer on his misfortune.

    Dumb ape.


    Look, I know, it is no joking matter. It can't be easy being a cum dumpster.


    Razz Mad Laughing

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