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    Settle Down?

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    The Angel of God

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    Settle Down?

    Post  The Angel of God on Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:51 pm

    I feel like I need to do this.

    I posted about this girl who totally stood me up a while back, this is after over a week of talking online, like a LOT. Then recently she wrote about how family doesn't want her to date a farang and all this stuff she's going through with them.

    She wants to get away from her family. I don't like this because she has a kid and I'd like to have them around to look after it so her and I can do stuff like take kid-free holidays.

    So now she's talking about getting an apartment, one in which I would have my own separate room all to myself for work, writing, and general internetting. I explained to her I need my space and tons of alone time, and she gets it. That's a good sign I guess.

    So I'm open to all this. But she ignored one email in which I told her I thought we should meet in person before we went deciding to move in together.

    And now she's calling me "dear" and saying shit like "I love you."

    I really think that's premature, even for desperate lonely me. I mean her online pics look good, but I got fooled by that recently in a major way.

    I'm not that bothered by the kid. I ain't gonna take care of her... much. I'll make her sandwich or whatever, even read her a book or watch a Disney flick, but that's it. I'm not dealing with all the rest of it.

    Overall I think it's a good arrangement, like what I've been looking for. I just don't think bypassing that initial phase where we meet up and get to know each other in person is a good idea.


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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Mar 17, 2017 4:56 pm

    She's saying she loves you before she has even met you.

    She sounds like a CRAZILY good catch.

    The emphasis on crazy.

    Perfect for you Sciency, I am sure you will last at least 2 days living together.

    LOL.
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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Mar 17, 2017 5:23 pm

    I'm not that bothered by the kid. I ain't gonna take care of her... much. I'll make her sandwich or whatever, even read her a book or watch a Disney flick, but that's it. I'm not dealing with all the rest of it.

    Have you ever lived with a solo-mum before?

    I can see this REALLY working out.

    The thing about solo-mums is, if you piss them off and leave them, they can always get the kid to say you touched her up. I did family law for ten years.

    Good luck!

    Laughing Mad Razz
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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  The Angel of God on Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:09 pm

    She is probably just anxious to get started on something, as I am.  She's been mired with her family her whole life and wants to create something independent of them.  I'm also stuck in a cycle that goes nowhere.  And as difficult as it is to find a relationship, she's just figuring GO.  She knows she's got a guy on the line who is interested in something serious and our goals align.  We have had very in-depth correspondence.  

    The way I see, the kid is a good thing.  I will have my own room and she will be busy taking care of the kid, which means more free time for me.  The kid's father is not in the picture, so I can play that role to -to a limited extent.  I don't mind teaching her some English or taking her to the zoo once in a while.  I want to help her.  I don't hate kids.  I just don't want to be looking after one 24/7.  Besides, if her mom and I are in love, I have to love the kid too.  She's part of the package.

    The key is having my own room, where it is understood I am not to be disturbed.  I feel like that works.

    Anyway, I did tell her we would absolutely have to meet in person before I could commit to living together.

    Think whatever  you will about it, but I know it's got to better for me than what I'm doing now.


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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:03 pm

    I dated 2 solo mums when I was younger, and I swore I would never do it again.

    They ALWAYS put the kid first.

    My bitches need to give me 100 % support, and be 100 % serving for me.

    But I am very curious to see how you go. Smile



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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  The Angel of God on Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:34 pm

    That's where we differ. I don't need 100% from her, cuz 100% from her requires I pay more attention to her and not my hobbies. I spend hours upon hours every day reading. I want to keep doing it. So I'd rather she be taking care of the child while I'm in my studio doing whatever I want to do. She'll require less attention, so I see it as a win/win.

    I only really need her for stability and some amount of companionship. Otherwise, I'm quite good at living totally on my own. I don't require much support, just the little pain-in-the-ass stuff I have get done in Thailand that she can do easily (but is difficult for me.)

    She is intent on staying here, hopes we can open a small business someday. That sounds awesome to me. I would love to run a little pizza shop here. I bet I could make a killing. All the pizza here sucks.

    Or who knows. This online education thing is taking off like wildfire, so I may find more opportunity there. Ideally I want to own a home here so I've got somewhere to retire other than homeless in the shitty USA. I just can't get ungrounded from the chaos of my life. I need stability as a starting point to build anything, but it's highly elusive.

    I've always been a marriage guy. I was a marriage guy that got thrust into singledom and stopped giving an F for a while because of it. Inherently though I'm the other guy, the married family guy.





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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:04 pm

    And the family lawyers appreciate that fact.

    Razz

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:06 pm

    Marriage is a religious concept.

    Like most things to do with religion, it is an erroneous concept.

    Fortunately my parents were not particularly religious.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:09 pm

    Having said that though, I can still count 6 divorces in my family.

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:09 pm

    Imagine how many there would have been if our family had been religious?

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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  RobertBlack on Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:17 pm

    Marriage is like the EU and globalization, nice ideas in theory, but in practise, a legal, social, and financial disaster.




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    The Angel of God

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  The Angel of God on Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:10 pm

    Marriage has been in all cultures for forever. Being marriage-less is a new and experimental concept. It's a natural order of things, not a religious invention.

    Divorce rates have surely increased all over the world in recent times. That said, there are still plenty of successful marriages. It's easy to look at the huge ugly side, but that only exists because of feminism and atheism and all the other ills of our modern world.

    I like the idea of being married and settled here. I'm too old to be doing what I'm doing. And it would be nice to have a wife to take care of certain things for me.

    I don't have anything to draw from in my retirement. My folks are alive but I won't see any legacy from either when they pass. I'll have nothing. But if I marry and settle here where property prices are reasonable (though going up as of late) and small businesses are not hard to start, I'll be in a good position.

    I wouldn't mind retiring here at all. Bangkok has everything you could ever want out of a city, and beautiful beach vacations are just bus rides away. Medical care is affordable and housing is cheap.

    It's everything I can't get in America. But there's no way I can do that here without a wife. What am I doing on my own? I'm living in a hotel and getting blitzed every week. I'm not building anything for myself. I'm not moving forward.

    No. Marriage makes a lot more sense. I'm not someone who can connect with people and get things out of them. All I ever have comes from my labor. Yet I'm laboring away for nothing, treading water.

    For me, it's the only thing that makes sense. I can't find stability on my own, just the bottom of a whiskey bottle.







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    RobertBlack

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    Re: Settle Down?

    Post  RobertBlack on Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:43 am

    The problem will be when you want to drink.

    And you will, believe me, and if she stops you, game over.

    I am fortunate in my situation here.


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