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    Can I Stop Drinking?

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    Psioncy

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    Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Fri May 14, 2010 1:13 pm

    Hello. My name is Psioncy.

    And I may have a wee bit of a problem controlling my alcohol intake.

    Well, the girl I love is gone, and all my best efforts to get her back have failed.

    In the meanwhile, I drink.

    Love to me is the highest priority, so without her my life is pretty much pointless.

    People can't understand me. They don't know what I've been through and what it's taught me. What I know is not pretty. It's dark.

    The world is cold. And relentless evil, often disguised as good. And I'm constantly fighting it.

    Alcohol shuts off the mind, I find release.

    But it's effects are mostly negative. And it in itself makes *me* turn to evil.

    I fear the things I could do when I'm drinking. I'm finding I am in many ways beyond my own control.

    AA is sidepath to creator worship, so that's OUT.

    What do I mean by "a sidepath to creator worship"?

    I means that the creator puts you in a bind, makes you submit yourself before him ("higher power") to choose his side. Ultimately, all he's ever done is coerce people into giving Him their souls. The whole thing is a scam, a setup. Always has been, since the "fall" of man was orchestrated by Him.

    And He thinks he has me by he balls. But faced with self-destruction or surrender, I'll choose the former. I've vowed.

    But what about a third way?

    If I can do this, I'll have won a battle against Him. And that alone could be all the incentive I need.

    I'll be blogging my progress on this thread. Chime in if interested.

    Fuck off if not.

    Gerald's Poppadoms

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Gerald's Poppadoms on Fri May 14, 2010 1:24 pm

    I would make the most of the situation.

    Let's face it chicks come and go and they seem to improve with our age.

    Exercize, diet, drinking water as you drink and so on can help curb the negative effects of it.

    Also try and find which alcohol has what effects on you.

    It is always a shit time after we break up with a girl we care for but like most things it passes.

    Keep your chin up, before you know it you will be chirping that you are in love again.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Fri May 14, 2010 1:30 pm

    Good advice generally, tnks. But I'm really hung up on this girl.

    I've been seeing other women but it doesn't help all that much.

    Can't fall in love with them.

    Regulating my intake isn't an option. I simply can't control myself once I get started.

    I don't even bother with beer. Just liquor.

    Recently I've been staying home when I drink.

    I wash my clothes and hang them, so I don't even the option of going out.

    Because when I drink, I drink to excess. And often to blackout.

    And the things I do when I'm blacked out are downright scary.

    Sure if I'm tired, I'll just be falling down and passing out.

    But if I'm rested, I've been told I'm quite articulate and purposeful in my blackouts.

    I don't want to elaborate on what I've been known to do during a blackout. But I've heard stories, and that guy truly fkn scares me.

    Gerald's Poppadoms

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Gerald's Poppadoms on Fri May 14, 2010 1:50 pm

    Generally speaking I only drink beer these days, when I with my gf.

    I don't eat too much get pretty nailed then get hungry.

    Then I eat like a starving dog and fall pretty much immediately into a blissful sleep.

    Not healthy I know.

    But with spirits I often get nailed then don't eat and fall to sleep totally dehydrated and wake up feeling like shit and often regretting stuff I have done.

    Beer has the desired effect as long as you don't eat much.

    Anyway, I knew a guy who drank this way about fourteen big bottles a night then ate, got up and taught about six hours a day.

    He was a machine.


    But he told me that he could never drink spirits or anything much stronger than beer as it turned him into a raging psycho.

    He was a big evil guy (probably one of the scariest people I ever met) but on beer he remained happy and and like a gentle bear and was good company.


    Often he would just fall off his chair in bars and so on then apologise.


    Anyway, he taught me about utilizing the effects of beer.


    Chinese beer has a lot of water in it too and isn't actually that bad apart from the sugar of course.


    Anyway, good luck.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Fri May 14, 2010 2:12 pm

    Yeah, I've tried the "stick to beer" approach many times.

    4 beers into it I change my mind and buy liquor.

    Even when I was younger I'd always have this blackout problem when I drank.

    Waking up in cars, parks, boats at sea, islands, bathroom floors, jail cells, the desert, or the beds of strange women.

    Other countries I've woken up in include Canada and Mexico.

    Waking up on the beach can be pleasant at least.

    The forest sucks, on account of all the mosquitoes.

    I've been hospitalized for hypothermia, twice.

    (The other times I recovered elsewhere than a hospital)

    Wherever I might be, the first thing I do is check myself for bodily injuries.

    And these are just the end points. The really fkd story is what led me there the night before.

    And it's always just *bad*.

    I really should be dead by now, many times over.

    Abstinence from alcohol is my only real option.

    In a stable relationship, I can abstain.

    But how to abstain while living alone and single on a decent salary with shitloads of free time?

    That's a tough one.


    Last edited by Psioncy on Fri May 14, 2010 2:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    silkywave3

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    Hope sciency abstinent on wines

    Post  silkywave3 on Fri May 14, 2010 2:19 pm

    Sad

    Hope you happy, less wine, more health! Rolling Eyes

    silent For the beloved one, doubtlessly she hopes you to live well bom

    Keep her in your heart, and live well albino dear sciency cherry
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Fri May 14, 2010 2:26 pm

    Thank you Silky.

    But I don't know any happiness. Every day is just an ordeal to get through.

    Any hope is an illusion, its purpose to fuel my torment.

    I'm truly in Hell.

    Gerald's Poppadoms

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Gerald's Poppadoms on Fri May 14, 2010 2:34 pm

    You could start smoking weed.

    But that would just make you lose motivation I guess.

    But at least it would be better for your physical health.
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    silkywave3

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    The feeling living in big city is always not so good

    Post  silkywave3 on Fri May 14, 2010 2:37 pm

    Psioncy wrote:Thank you Silky.

    But I don't know any happiness. Every day is just an ordeal to get through.

    Any hope is an illusion, its purpose to fuel my torment.

    I'm truly in Hell.
    why so?

    Actually everybody is lonely from heart, no matter you are single or married.

    The difference lies in some people find something to fill up their life.

    I have one colleague, he is strong, he organizeds a community online of bicycle fans, they go to Tibet on bicycles starting off in ChengDu. On the road, they meet many dangers, someone died, and they see many marvelous things and think deeply about life.

    Maybe you can try to spend some time out of the big/blank city to find some real fun of life.

    Somebody says that go to some poor villages of china, to see how poor life the people are having there, you will suddenly feel your life is so good, there is nothing to complain.

    A river / a grassland / a small pet all can invoke your love towards nature. jocolor

    Save the money to buy a car(I am not sure whether you have one now), go to travel to some tranquil places, when facing nature, you will feel human being are so small, only the nature -- sky and earth are forever.

    We chinese say to follow the nature, you would be happy from heart.

    Maybe you've gotten everything, but you don't cherish it, so you lost the happiness.


    Last edited by silkywave3 on Fri May 14, 2010 2:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Fri May 14, 2010 2:45 pm

    That's not a bad idea. I grew up smoking weed, learned it from my mom.

    Used to grow it. It's not as harmful as alcohol, I agree.

    In china I don't smoke weed though, too fkn illegal, and I don't need the paranoia.

    Also the weed here completely sucks. Or so I've heard Wink

    Plus, I refuse to financially encourage dealers who also sell extremely harmful, life destroying drugs such as cocaine and heroine. Fuck them.

    Nah, I've been over and over all options in my mind a thousand times over.

    No drugs, no alcohol. It's the only viable solution for me.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Fri May 14, 2010 2:49 pm

    Well Silky, the "poor people have it so much worse" argument doesn't take into account that they have the benefit of being extremely fkn ignorant, k?

    I'm sure those dumb bastards are much happier than I am.
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    silkywave3

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    yes, ignorant and happy

    Post  silkywave3 on Fri May 14, 2010 2:52 pm

    Psioncy wrote:Well Silky, the "poor people have it so much worse" argument doesn't take into the account that they have the benefit of being extremely fkn ignorant, k?

    I'm sure those dumb bastards are much happier than I am.
    I think because they are so ignorant, so they just live like soil.

    They don't take themselves so important, so they follow the nature.

    I don't understand your world and what you really want.

    However, just hope you happy! geek

    Gerald's Poppadoms

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Gerald's Poppadoms on Fri May 14, 2010 3:04 pm

    Yeah, I am the same, once I start drinking I cannot stop.

    Abstinence sounds the way for you.

    Maybe turn your attention to other things such as exercize and sport and maybe yoga/meditation?

    Wow, nearly a hundred views on this thread so far.

    Seems people do like this forum after all.

    UFCpieceofashit

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  UFCpieceofashit on Sat May 15, 2010 12:57 am

    Gerald's Poppadoms wrote:I would make the most of the situation.

    Let's face it chicks come and go and they seem to improve with our age.

    Exercize, diet, drinking water as you drink and so on can help curb the negative effects of it.

    Also try and find which alcohol has what effects on you.

    It is always a shit time after we break up with a girl we care for but like most things it passes.

    Keep your chin up, before you know it you will be chirping that you are in love again.


    If the Lord Almighty re-established and long forgotten ISP like Prodigy or Mindspring, and found his way on this forum to reply to your thread, I assure you no truer words would be been said.


    You need to accept the past, live in the present, and hopefully look forward to the future. Remind yourself that choices you made were made with limited information, of course hindsight its easy to recognized mistakes. Maybe things happed for the best? Nothing good, EVER came through the act regret.

    We are all given once chance in life, there ain't no "reload" or do-over button. It makes no difference how you get happiness or being content with life (either via the hard or easy way) just as long as you eventually get there!

    UFCpieceofashit

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    Chinese dead laborers and attorneys, THE SOLUTION!

    Post  UFCpieceofashit on Sat May 15, 2010 1:02 am

    Remember if you ever see anyone who checked out in life, anywhere.... pin a note on them and scribble these words " M. Wester did this to me, I hope any family or friends sues True Blu media if they really want to honor my spirit."

    My Chinese writing is horrible, I've been this note on the corpses of day labors but so far I've never had luck, but one day it will happen!


    Kitto you da man!


    Come to think of it, I never seen an a Chinese trail attorney, or a successful one who could afford commercials during daytime game shows and soap operas.

    Barry Fu, you have fallen, you have cheated by people?

    I fight for you get you rots of money.

    I Barry Fu, my cousin frienda, frienda with judge, you call me now.

    I help you frienda.
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    Ivor Biggun

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Ivor Biggun on Sun May 16, 2010 12:18 am

    your not drinking enough.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Sun May 16, 2010 8:01 pm

    Maybe you're right. Hero and Otto really annoyed me last night, and I still haven't heard from my ex-gf for over a month, so what the hell.

    I've had a couple jingjiu's and a baijiu bottle already. Then I was like fuck it I got money coming out my ass I should drink something decent. So starting on a bottle of Sambuca, 40%. I should be pretty well wasted in the next couple hours.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Sun May 16, 2010 8:04 pm

    Just maybe later somebody could do me a favor? I got laundry started in the wash kind of need it for a corporate training gig tomorrow night. So maybe just remind me to hand it later, tnks!

    Gerald's Poppadoms

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Gerald's Poppadoms on Sun May 16, 2010 8:05 pm

    Yeah go for it!

    It's all good for a bit of poodle bashing!

    Gerald's Poppadoms

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Gerald's Poppadoms on Sun May 16, 2010 8:06 pm

    Ok no worries.

    Fortunately I just got my washing off the line.

    Raining hard now.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Sun May 16, 2010 8:09 pm

    Tnks, just a mild drizzle here. I'll run the heater, they'll dry NP. Just would suck if I woke up at three PM tomorrow and waqs like "fuck, this monkey suit i'm supposed to wear to teach these retards how to pronounce three syllable words in all fkn wet still"
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Sun May 16, 2010 8:17 pm

    Sambuca. Straight out of the bottle.

    Nice warm feeling going down.

    Not as warm as baijiu, but more tinglier.

    What is that, anise or licorice? What's the difference.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Sun May 16, 2010 8:25 pm

    I wonder if i infused that cheap star anise available everywhere into vodka if i'f get somehting like sambuca out of it?

    Gerald's Poppadoms

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Gerald's Poppadoms on Sun May 16, 2010 8:26 pm

    I like Ouzo, always makes me laugh, the Poms call it Pernod, that is aniseed definitely.

    Sambucca, had a few shots and so on, not really an expert on it.

    There is a new baijiu out quite smooth.

    I always drop sugar cubes in it, that does the trick.
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    Psioncy

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    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Sun May 16, 2010 8:29 pm

    See this is why i know i have an alcohol problem. I'm only 10% into this bottle of sambuca and my washing machine is still running and i'm already thinking "damn i should have gotten TWO bottles of sambuca just in case." Well, myself, here's the dealio: If you finish that bottle of sambuca AND can find clothes to wear, it's only 7:30 now, so you can maybe hit Jenny Lou's for another. Capice?

    NOTE TO SELF: Take the deal! And call some of those bitches on your cellphone!!!

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