Laid Bare!


    Can I Stop Drinking?

    Share
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6364
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Sat May 22, 2010 8:21 pm

    Yeah, right, "humble" NOT "pathetic". There's a difference!

    I hope.
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6364
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Tue May 25, 2010 3:35 pm

    Day 8 of sobriety. It's getting boring, I've got to say. There's really not much point in not drinking when there's nothing to live for.

    But the short term benefit of not having to deal with any immediate aftermath still makes it worthwhile I suppose.

    One thing this week has taught me, is that I'm completely alone in this.

    There's no such thing as "help". "Trust" is a failed concept, "friends" do not exist.

    All "friend" means to me is an eventual betrayal.

    If there's one thing I *can* count on, it's that.

    It's sewn in the foundation of all my human relationships -before they ever even form.

    People just do not know themselves. They can't resist turning on me, it's their *nature*. Whatever goodwilled intentions they may express, subconciously they plot against me. Always. Without fail. The pattern is as clear as daylight.

    Acceptance, true acceptance, of this basic fact is key to maintaining my sobriety and rebuilding my strength.

    Starve the parasites. They don't appreciate nourishment, they won't receive it. Not a drop. I'd even gladly go so far as to pump poison through my own veins to make you suffer and die.
    avatar
    silkywave3

    Posts : 1047
    Join date : 2010-05-03

    About real friendship

    Post  silkywave3 on Tue May 25, 2010 3:42 pm

    If you feel there are no real friends, maybe the others feel the same.

    We learn each other to survive in the society.

    I rode bicycle to come to work today, it sucks, there was a part out of order, I had to stop to repair it by myself. Occasionally there was a MinGong looking man past over me, he was nice and helped me to repaired it.

    I gave him 10 RMB to appreciate it though he just simply did very basic thing.

    Friendship is a thing people help each other.

    Remember that we are all human being, we are all fragile, we all need help, we all need warm. Nobody is stronger than you. cat No matter how others look indifferent, maybe it is just because they are suffering from loneliness as well. So forgive them!

    I think if you see things in different view, you will feel differently.

    mightymouse

    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2010-05-18

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  mightymouse on Tue May 25, 2010 4:00 pm

    Sciency, I never believed in curses but now I'm convinced it's all true in your case. Thanks for enlightening me. Now go off yourself ASAP seriously. Don't subject one more person in this world to *you*.

    UFCpieceofashit

    Posts : 139
    Join date : 2010-05-09

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  UFCpieceofashit on Wed May 26, 2010 1:11 am

    mightymouse wrote:Sciency, I never believed in curses but now I'm convinced it's all true in your case. Thanks for enlightening me. Now go off yourself ASAP seriously. Don't subject one more person in this world to *you*.

    You don't consider cholesterol level a curse?

    What about the onset on your diabetes?

    Nothing funnier than watching a fat Caucasian hobbling around BJ because he can't keep his diabetes in check. Sceincy is an alright guy.

    It would do you well to eat more lobster and lay off the butter Pillsbury dough-boy!

    Ban your fat ass from eating if you insist on continuing to cry about a banning.
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6364
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Wed May 26, 2010 2:36 pm

    Careful Alex, your mask is slipping.

    It doesn't matter, all boils down to malevolence with poodle humpers.

    That goes for all of you: Alex, Otto, Herojuana ect.

    The cyberworld is a platform for your *hate*.

    Why do you expend so much energy trying to pretend otherwise?
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6364
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Wed May 26, 2010 2:46 pm

    silkywave3 wrote:

    Friendship is a thing people help each other.


    No, not for me it isn't. Friendship is a thing wehre people use and betray you, in the guise of "help". I've never gotten any "help" out of one these charades. They say "let me help you" but it always turns into ME helping THEM. The only form of repayment I've ever received is a knife in the back at the most opportune moment.

    I think that's why I prefer enemies. They're more honest about their intentions, and I *know* I can't trust them right from the start.

    Alex, for example, wants me to die.

    A "friend" tells me they don't want me to die, but really they're the ones who most compel me to.
    avatar
    silkywave3

    Posts : 1047
    Join date : 2010-05-03

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  silkywave3 on Wed May 26, 2010 3:16 pm

    Psioncy wrote:
    silkywave3 wrote:

    Friendship is a thing people help each other.


    No, not for me it isn't. Friendship is a thing wehre people use and betray you, in the guise of "help". I've never gotten any "help" out of one these charades. They say "let me help you" but it always turns into ME helping THEM. The only form of repayment I've ever received is a knife in the back at the most opportune moment.

    I think that's why I prefer enemies. They're more honest about their intentions, and I *know* I can't trust them right from the start.

    Alex, for example, wants me to die.

    A "friend" tells me they don't want me to die, but really they're the ones who most compel me to.
    Trust me. all people feel the same. The difference lies in some people are fake, they don't admit it publicly. They disguise friendships to make them look more successful. study

    Adult people are disgusted with each other because adult people care too many things and are easily offended. Neutral
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6364
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Wed May 26, 2010 4:49 pm

    No Silky, that's not what I'm talking about.

    I'm quite tolerant and forgiving of peoples faults.

    No, I'm talking about intentional acts of malice against me, plotted in detail.

    Masquerading as friendship, kindness, even love.

    Because the truth they see in me drives them nuts, they're forced to face their own nature.

    As the layers of platitudes, memetics, and coping lies get stripped away.

    The shit they were made from reaks forth in all its all glory.

    And so as desperately as they try to avoid it, they see themselves. And they hate me for it, and in the end inevitably turn on me.

    Every mistake I've ever made has stemmed from "trusting" someone.

    There will be no more error in this regard.

    Fuck friends.
    avatar
    silkywave3

    Posts : 1047
    Join date : 2010-05-03

    ok sciency

    Post  silkywave3 on Wed May 26, 2010 4:58 pm

    I hope I can understand you fully. Now I only understand you a little bit.
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6364
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Tue Jun 01, 2010 11:09 pm

    Over two weeks now, clean and sober. It sure does suck.

    Alcohol helped me cope with inherent filthiness of humanity that pervades my world, or at least tune it out temporarily.

    But I have to recognize that the benefits of the being spared the aftereffects of blackout drinking still balances out more favorably.

    And I know from the patterns, it's all or nothing, no gray area. No moderate drinking, not for me.

    Sounds good on paper, but never works out that way. NEVER. The patterns are strikingly clear, all the evidence is in. I'm an alky.

    Not a drop. It's the only solution.

    Sobriety has got me really uptight, but that two by four up my ass has gone a long way in making me keep my house clean and taking care of the various tasks I was previously prone to neglecting.

    So that part is nice.

    I just hate this dulling effect. Sobriety is like novacaine for the soul.

    Next thing you know I'll be exchanging inanities with all the moronic idiots on TBJ.

    AND finding it all oh so clever. LOL!

    What my insanity needs is a proper outlet, and inspiration. I've spent the whole day guzzling coffee and huffing cigarrettes and still NADA. My insanity is *bored*.

    I feel like I'm just killing time, and for what? Nothing.

    My love is gone.

    Nothing matters.

    Just her *still*.

    All the girls I've met just lie and talk nonsense. Not a keeper in the lot.

    Fuck it. Maybe a drink or two or ??? tonight...
    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6364
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Tue Jun 01, 2010 11:10 pm

    avatar
    Psioncy

    Posts : 6364
    Join date : 2010-05-02

    Re: Can I Stop Drinking?

    Post  Psioncy on Tue Jun 01, 2010 11:12 pm

    Yeah, ok. You're *right*. No drinking.

    Fuck, I need a release though!

      Current date/time is Sat Aug 19, 2017 12:10 am